Page 59 of Missing

We did that a few more times, the staccato rhythm of my heart calming down with each repetition. After the last one he put a cold cloth on my forehead and handed me a glass of water.

“Beth, I’m sorry I scared you. I’m reaching out to Agent Jones to see if he’ll do us a favor, not because we need the FBI. They have access to information and systems we don’t.” He paused as I looked at him through blurry eyes. “And it won’t hurt to get him involved early, just in case.”

I stared at him, hearing his words but not fully grasping them.

When he asked, “Beth? Are you with me?” I nodded, unable to speak.

“Can you talk to me? Tell me you understood what I just told you?”

I blinked a few times and tried to remember what he’d said. “The FBI is, is, is just in case.” I leaned into him and sobbed.

He held me as he patiently reiterated the stuff I’d left out. “And they have resources we don’t. We have a good working relationship with Agent Jones, so he may be willing to help us.”

He leaned back and lifted my chin, forcing me to make eye contact.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” It was anything but okay, but it wouldn’t help anyone if I broke down again.I need to stay strong for Chase.

I heard, “here, try to eat something,” as a sandwich was pressed into my hands. I glanced up to see Mary. In my panic, I hadn’t heard Emily come back in.

“Thanks.” I took the sandwich and stared at it, trying to decide if I should bother unwrapping it.

“Let me help.” John unwrapped it and handed it back to me. “Try to eat a couple of bites, it’ll help keep your strength up.”

It was what I needed to hear. I needed to keep my strength up so I could help find my son.

Please, God, bring Chase home to me.

The package said ham and cheese but all I tasted was cardboard.

Mary and Meg sat on either side of me as I forced myself to eat a few more bites of the sandwich and a few baby carrots.

Everyone else, including Doug who’d come out for food, scarfed down their sandwiches, along with chips, vegetables, and cookies before going back to their offices.

When Doug went back to his office, I accepted his invitation and followed. I needed to hide away for a few minutes. Everyone meant well, and I appreciated everything they were doing for me, but I was overwhelmed and terrified and needed some solitude.

“Can I close the door?” I asked after I walked in.

“Of course.” He sat at his desk.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m accessing footage from traffic cams around the park.”

“You can do that?”

“I’m capable, yes. But I shouldn’t be, so it’s a secret.”

“Thank you.” Doug was breaking the rules to look for Chase.

“You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

I sat in one of the leather chairs reserved for clients and prayed Chase was safe, and we’d find him soon. I knew the first twenty-four hours were crucial in missing person’s cases. Because I’d taken the self-defense class John taught, I also knew a person’s chance of survival was halved if they were taken to a second location.

All this knowledge is killing me. I clutched my hands to my chest as panic set in again.

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