Page 50 of Missing

I followed as she dragged Chase to the side of the room. She held his hands as she kneeled in front of him.

“Chase, who was that?” Beth asked, her voice harsh and still a few octaves above normal.

I let go of Chase's hand and scanned the crowd while she talked to Chase.

Chase shrugged. “He liked my shirt and showed me the turtle.”

“How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers?”

Chase looked confused; his eyes wet with tears.

Don’t talk to strangers is one of those things we tell children, but it doesn’t carry a lot of meaning for them. I’d attended a seminar on talking to your kids and keeping them safe, and oneof the things they’d emphasized was that kids don’t think the way we do.

A person offering them candy is a friend, not a stranger, because friends share.

A person looking for a lost dog or cat isn’t a stranger; because they need help.

A person sharing information with them isn’t a stranger, because they’re like a teacher.

Beth could say, "don’t talk to strangers," until she was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t help.

“Beth,” I placed my hand on her arm, “may I?” I asked softly. It wasn’t my place to parent Chase, so I’d back off if she said no. She didn't.

“Chase, you didn’t think of Mr. Dale as a stranger when he offered to show you the turtle, did you?”

He shook his head back and forth, still looking at his mom with his hands shoved in his pockets.Poor kid, he thinks he’s in trouble but doesn’t understand why.

“You’re not in trouble, Chase.” I gave Beth a look begging her not to contradict me. I had a point to make. One I wish we could have discussed and made together, or she could have done it on her own, but I didn’t want to miss this opportunity while the emotions were still high.

We remembered lessons when they were tied to our emotions.

“Your mom isn’t mad at you. She’s scared, because when she came out of the bathroom we weren’t where we were supposed to be and-.”

“I’m sorry Mommy.”

“I forgive you.” Her tone was softer. Then she looked at me and added, “But Mr. Doug isn’t done yet.”

Her faith and trust in me would have dropped me to my knees, if I weren’t already there.

“We scare the people who love us if we wander away without telling them. You don’t want to scare your mom, do you?” I asked.

“No.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“That’s good.” I smiled, hoping to put him at ease.

“Chase, sometimes people who act nice are actually bad people. We have to be extra careful anytime we talk to someone we haven’t met before. Do you understand?”

“Think so,” He said sheepishly.

“Good.” I put my hand on his shoulder like I was sharing a secret. “Here’s what I want you to do. Any time someone you’ve never met before starts talking to you, I want you to ask your mom if it’s okay to talk to them. Can you do that?”

“What if they need help?” Chase asked, looking a little more like himself.

“You tell them you have to ask if it’s okay, and then you go to your mom.”

“What if I’m at school?”

I looked at Beth for clarification, momentarily forgetting Chase called daycare school.

---