Page 1 of Missing

Chapter 1

Beth

“Mommy, will I ever have another daddy?” Chase’s big blue eyes stared into mine.

Where did that come from?A few seconds ago, he’d been quietly coloring on the living room floor, his favorite dinosaur movie playing in the background.

He’d never asked me about having a new dad before.I suspect it has something to do with the dads he sees at tee ball. He’d asked about his father, my late husband, Phil, because he’d seen the pictures. But this was a first, and I wasn’t sure how to answer him.

Do I want Chase to have a father?Of course I did, even if it meant changing the special bond we had, but I hadn’t found the right man yet. I recently started dating, after Mary and Meg convinced me to give it a try after I confided in them after having one too many glasses of wine. When I confessed, “I miss having a man in my life.” They reminded me Phil would want me to be happy, to move on with my life. But that wasn’t the reason.

I was afraid Chase would get hurt. If I was being completely honest, I was worried about a man inserting himself into our lives and assuming it was okay to discipline Chase without my consent. Dating was hard, but dating as an older widow with a young son was harder.

Plus, I always felt weird leaving him with a sitter when I went on dates. Even if that sitter was someone Chase adored and loved spending time with, like Meg, or Mary and John. It wasn’t exactly guilt, though there was some. It felt dishonest to have a person in my life who wasn’t in Chase’s, like I was keeping a secret.

They also reminded me I didn’t have to introduce Chase to any man I dated, until I was ready. I told them I’d think about it, just to put an end to the conversation. Though in the end I did think about it, and decided I’d wade into the dating pool again. I had control over who I dated, and who I let into Chase’s life, and I’d be okay as long as I didn’t forget that.

It’s not easy dating as a single mom over forty, especially with a five-year-old child. I was upfront with every man I went out with, but they still seemed surprised when I’d mention Chase’s age.

I hadn’t gone on a lot of dates, and never with the same man more than twice. None of them had met Chase. It wasn’t that they weren’t good men; I'm sure they were, but there was nothing there. No spark. No desire to get to know them better.

There are very few men who’ll be able to fill Phil’s shoes. He was a great husband and would’ve been an amazing dad. But he’d died while on duty during one of those rare occasions it snowed in Texas. He’d stopped to help a stranded motorist, like the good cop and man he was. Another driver lost control of their car and struck him. The impact hadn’t killed him but hitting his temple when he fell had. I was seven months pregnant with Chase when it happened.

It still breaks my heart he’ll never meet his son, and his son will never meet him.

I wanted to name Chase after his father, but Phil had wanted to name him after his best friend, a firefighter who’d died when a section of the burning warehouse he was in collapsed, killing him and his shift-buddy.How could I not honor his wish? When Chase was born, I named our son after both of them, Chase Phillip Wyatt; honoring two men who’d sacrificed their lives serving their community.

Chase was staring at me with his father’s eyes, his green crayon poised over the coloring page.

Honesty is the best policy. “I don’t know, baby. Why do you ask?”

Deflection worked too.Sometimes.

“I want a daddy to help me practice tee ball like the other boys have.” Chase answered matter-of-factly. He didn’t sound nearly as sad as I felt, but then he’d never known Phil.

I will not cry.Damn you Phil, why’d you have to leave us?I could tell him I’d help him practice, but knew it wouldn’t be the same. “Why don’t you ask your Uncle John if he’ll help you?” I suggested the next best thing.

Chase’s face lit up as he jumped up and ran over to me. “Can we go ask him now?”

My five-year-old son loved visiting the Sheppard & Sons Investigations office. Not only was the company owned by hisUncle John and his two oldest sons, who Chase adored, but his favorite babysitter, Auntie Meg, worked there too.

I didn’t answer fast enough, so he begged, “please,” with his hands in the prayer position. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll call and ask if he can schedule a visit today,” I reached over and grabbed my phone, “but you have to be patient.”

Completely ignoring the last half of what I’d said, he jumped up and down, clapping his hands. “Will Auntie Meg be there too? She’s been gone forever.”

“I think so.” His positive energy brought a smile to lips.

He adored Meg. Who, along with her new husband, Jack Sheppard, had returned from their two-week Hawaiian honeymoon two days ago and were supposed to return to work today, but I didn’t want to promise Chase without knowing for sure.

Meg answered and after exchanging a few pleasantries, including scheduling a girl’s night so I could hear all about her honeymoon, she put me through to John.

John couldn’t see Chase today, but agreed to meet with him the following afternoon. He said he’d have Meg add Chase to his schedule, knowing Chase always got a thrill out of seeing his name on John’s calendar.

Chase might not have a dad, but he had John and his sons. It wasn’t the same, but at least he had strong male role models.

Chapter 2

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