Page 37 of Missing

Being sterile didn’t mean I didn’t want kids. I did. I always had.

I could be a good dadto Chase.And a good husband to Beth.

Whoa. Slow down. It was way too soon to be thinking like that, even if it was true.

First, I had to reveal my secret and hope she wouldn’t walk away from me.

I poured myself a glass of whiskey, inhaling the smoky peaty scent as I brought the glass to my lips. The warm amber liquid burned as it coated my tongue and throat, bringing me back to the present.

I sat on the couch and turned on my gaming console—shooting a few bad guys would help derail the negative train of thought my mind had boarded.

And maybe help keep my mind from visualizing what it’d be like to kiss Beth senseless and hear her breathlessly beg for more as I worshiped her body.

Chapter 20

Beth

At the end of my shift on Thursday, I joined Mary, Meg, and Emily in their booth. I sat down just in time to hear Meg tell Mary about a shooting group she’d heard about, the Women’s Shooting Club.

“They meet once a month, there’s an hour of classroom training and an hour of range time, with instructors. Emily and I are going next month.”

Emily nodded. “I’m looking forward to it. Don’t get me wrong, Jamie’s great. But it’ll be nice to practice without him hovering over me.”

Jamie had insisted on teaching Emily how to shoot after what happened earlier in the summer, when her abusive ex-boyfriend took her and her parents hostage and almost killed them. He wanted her to get her license to carry, but she was still nervous about doing it.

“Do you know who the instructor is?” Mary asked.

“No, but each group is led by local female instructors, it’d be easy enough for me to find out,” Meg answered.

“Sounds interesting.” I asked Mary, “Are you going?”

Mary wasn’t one to go shooting for fun, but she’d had her LTC forever and carried her gun every day. She just didn’t talk about it.

“I’m going to check it out. It’d be a nice way for us girls to get some quality time together. You should join us,” Mary answered.

“How do I not know if you shoot?” Meg asked.

Because I never said anything. It wasn’t a secret, and I wasn’t sure why I’d never brought it up.Maybe because shooting reminded me so much of Phil.

He’d taught me to shoot early on in our relationship. Well, he took me shooting and tried to teach me, but was so impatient I had to stop going with him. To prevent us from fighting, I’d taken an intro course at the local range. It was easier for me to learn that way.

Phil was a great guy, and most of the time he was a patient man, but for some reason he was kind of a bully on the range. Eventually, after I’d learned how to ask him to back off, we were able to shoot together without fighting.

“I do, Phil taught me. Though it’s been a while.”Since before Phil died. “Maybe it’d be good for me to get in some practice.” I sipped my chai tea, savoring the rich spicy flavor.

“So, you’ll come with us?” Emily asked, hope filling her eyes.

“Maybe, if I can find a sitter.” And if I can remember how to clean my guns. I hadn’t cleaned them, hadn’t even taken themout of the safe, in years. I had my own twenty-two and a nine-mil S&W and was a decent shot with both.At least I used to be. I also had a handful of pistols and rifles in the safe that had belonged to Phil. They’d be Chase’s someday, if he wanted them.

I should ask John for help.I could watch videos to refresh myself on how to clean my guns, but I’d never cleaned Phil’s and wasn’t willing to tackle the rifles without help.

Or maybe I could ask Doug. I smiled at the thought.

Meg interrupted my thoughts. “I hope you can, it’ll be fun to have a girl’s range day.”

“What are you thinking about that’s got you smiling like a kid with a new toy?” Mary asked.

“Nothing, just thinking I’ll need some help cleaning my guns before I can shoot them.”

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