Page 23 of Missing

I grilled a burger and made myself a Right Side Old Fashioned, a recipe I’d duplicated from my favorite bar in Chicago. Savoring the sweetness of the drink, I reflected on my date with Beth.

The conversation had flowed, and we’d been comfortable enough to feed each other bites of our meals. I wouldn’t normally do something so intimate on a first date, but it’d felt natural with Beth.

When should I tell her I’m sterile?

The fact that I was already thinking about it was eye opening. I’d dated since my divorce but hadn’t considered telling any of them since I couldn’t imagine a future with them.

One lunch date with Beth and I’m already thinking about it.

Which was good in the sense that I liked her enough to be thinking about a possible future.

And bad, because it’d hurt like hell if she dumped me because I can’t have kids. I didn’t know if she wanted more kids, or if she’d be open to adoption.

Not exactly first date questions.

But they lingered in my mind. I needed to tell her sooner rather than later; it wasn’t fair to either of us to wait until we were invested in the relationship. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Jane.

The memory of my ex-wife’s high-pitched voice as she hurled insults at me still stung. According to her, I’d destroyed her dreams, wasted years of her life, and no woman would ever want me because I was half a man.

I can’t believe how fucking blind I was. How many red flags I’d missed, excuses I’d made.

Was I doing the same thing with Beth? Was I ignoring red flag behavior because I wanted to believe she was different?

No way.

I made myself a second Right Side and drank it down quicker than normal. The burn in my throat brought me back to the present. I made another, picked up the Clancy thriller I’d started last week, and sipped my drink while I read.

The distraction was exactly what I’d needed.

After I finished the novel, I went right back to thinking about Beth. But this time without my ex’s voice bouncing around in my head.

I’ve learned a lot in the last five years.

Including how to read people and how to spot red flags. I felt like I had a good read on Beth and had to trust the Sheppards wouldn’t love her as much as they did if she was a bad person. So, while I couldn’t predict how she might react when I told her, I took comfort in trusting her not to verbally attack me.

I was about to turn on a movie when my phone buzzed.

Beth.

Thank God no one can see me smiling like a teenage geek who just got a compliment from the head cheerleader.

Chapter 13

Beth

Later that night, after Chase was in bed, I texted Doug and thanked him again for a great date. He asked if Chase was asleep. A few seconds after I texted back, yes with a smile emoji, my phone rang.

Doug.

I smiled as I answered, appreciating him wanting to talk rather than text. It felt more personal.

“I thought it’d be easier to talk,” he said instead of hello.

I agreed, plus I got to hear his deep sexy voice.

“I had a great time, too. Are you still interested in a second date?” He sounded unsure of himself.

“I am.” I hoped he could hear me smiling, even if he couldn’t see it.

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