Page 44 of Beaten

Several times throughout the day, I’d caught myself watching Emily, I couldn’t help it, she was relaxed, laughing, and playful.Relaxed looks good on her. And I loved the way her pale blue eyes sparkled when she smiled. And she’d smiled a lot today. I was glad it had worked out for us to go together, and since Jack, AJ, and I shared Emily duty, we got to have fun too. I had to admit, it felt good knowing I was one of the reasons she was smiling so much.

I might have crossed the professional line by offering to pay for everything, but her smile had been so rewarding the first time that I kept doing it. Besides, she wasn’t just a client, shewas also a friend. And I’d let her pay for a few thing, when she’d argued and stood her ground. So, it wasn’t like I was treating this like a date. Because I wasn’t. And I’d definitely crossed the line when I’d placed my hand on her lower back, an escorting technique we use during protective detail which in itself it wasn’t crossing the line, but doing it when there was no immediate threat, and then letting my hand linger, enjoying the feel of her warm back against the palm of my hand. Well, that crossed the line. A lot.

Unfortunately my actions hadn’t gone unnoticed, but no one said anything. Well, no one except Meg and Ashley, who’d put their heads together and giggled.

I shouldn’t have underestimated them.Thinking back, they’d been scheming most of the day. I wanted to be mad, but couldn’t—I’d clearly brought it on myself by using the universal male signal for “she’s mine” any chance I got. I could probably explain my actions by saying I was concerned in a crowded area, especially since she thought she saw Craig earlier this week, but I didn’t think they’d buy it, not for one second.

There were a few times Emily and I had locked eyes and each time I’d felt butterflies dance in my stomach and my breath catch in my throat. I’d also found myself tongue tied on more than one occasion while I watched her playing games or laughing at an inside joke with Ashley.

Before long I was wishing this had been a date.But it wasn’t. It can’t be. Not today, not ever.

I shouldn’t, couldn’t, think about Emily like that. Not only would Chris kill me if he found out I was attracted to her, but I couldn’t afford to get distracted. I couldn’t risk Craig getting the drop on me because I was too busy thinking about how beautiful Emily was or how much I liked the sound of her laugh. Or how every touch of her skin sent shivers down my spine.

I’d found reasons to put my hand on her back, or touch her shoulder, or graze her hand with mine. Repeatedly throughout the day. I couldn’t help myself. A quick touch on the arm, disguised as getting her attention. My palm on her lower back, disguised guiding her. I might have been able to stop myself if she hadn’t been doing the same kinds of things. Holding onto my arm when she laughed, leaning closer to me when we talked.

Her touch felt personal, intimate and I hadn’t wanted her to stop.

But I can’t get distracted.Knowing I couldn’t live through failing someone again, I vowed I’d do whatever it took to keep her safe. Even if it meant keeping my distance.

I'd have to explain my unprofessional behavior to Chris, if he'd noticed. It wouldn't be easy, because my head was a fucking mess right now. And even if he’d be okay with Emily and I dating under normal circumstances, this was anything but normal and he’d be worried about me being distracted and placing Emily in danger.

Which was a valid concern, and one I shared.I won’t let it happen again. I can’t.

As if that wasn’t reason enough, Emily was still recovering from emotional trauma, and Chris wouldn’t want her jumping into another relationship so quickly. He might trust me with her life, but he’d struggle to trust me with her heart. Plus I was still dealing with my own loss.What a fucking mess.

I vowed not to touch Emily again, unless absolutely necessary.

When we got to the restaurant, I told AJ he was officially off duty for the night. He promptly ordered a beer and focused all his attention on charming Ashley.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” Ashley teased. “I’ve been flirting all day and you’ve barely noticed.” She tried to pout, but smiled instead.

“I was working so I had to behave.” He cocked his head towards me and Jack, as if blaming us. “But you have my full attention now.” He winked, turning Ashley to putty in his hands. She didn’t stand a chance; AJ was quite charming when he wanted to be.

At first Emily seemed embarrassed by Ashley’s open flirtations, but it didn’t last long. She was soon laughing and shaking her head at Ashley’s brazenness, even going so far as to tease her about being a lost cause. I sat back and watched the shenanigans unfold but didn’t get involved.

The girls all ordered white wine while AJ and Jack ordered a beer. I abstained since I was still on duty until Emily was home safe and sound. Then Sammie, one of our part-time security guys, technically our only security gal, would take over for the overnight shift.

After the initial high of flirting with AJ wore off, Ashley joined the conversation Emily and Meg were having about a book series they were reading. They were on different books in the series so Meg was being extra careful not to spoil anything.

Ashley chimed in, “I love that show,” and practically drooled as she said, “Jamie is so fucking hot.” She turned towards me, laughing. “The Scottish Highlander male lead in the show not you.” She pointed her beer bottle at me. “Not that you’re not hot.”

I shook my head in mock exasperation, she really was incorrigible. I glanced at Emily, and noticed a hint of pink in her cheeks.

I chuckled. “Believe me, I know I’m no James Fraser”

Ashley’s eyes rounded. “Wait, you watch Outlander?”

It was Meg’s turn to laugh.

“No, but Meg does so I’ve seen bits and pieces.” Unlike Jack, I had yet to watch an entire episode. He’d initially started watching it to spend time with Meg, but said it wasgood so now watches it because he likes it. They’d tried talking me into watching it with them, but I hadn’t given in, yet.

“He refuses to watch it with us.” Meg added, almost like she’d read my mind. “I bet he’d watch it with you if you asked him.” She directed her comment to Emily, a huge grin on her face.

I shot her a look, hoping she’d pick up on my pleading expression.Please don’t.

She smiled back at me, all sweetness and innocence.Fuck.I knew that look; she wasn’t letting it go. I’d have to grin and bear it as she spent the night trying to hook me and Emily up. Ashley started to say something but luckily our server came and delivered our food; stopping her, or anyone else, from pushing the subject.

I was secretly thrilled when Meg invited Emily and Ashley to the BBQ we were having the following day. Something I’d thought about doing a hundred times today but kept telling myself I shouldn’t. After crossing the line too many times, I hadn’t wanted to look like I was hitting on her.

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