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“No, what’d that psycho want?” Harsh, but not unwarranted.

“She said she’s sorry, and she misses me. She hopes I can forgive her so we can be friends.” I tried mimicking her German accent and failed spectacularly.

AJ scoffed. “Tell me you told her to take a hike.”

AJ didn’t have a high opinion of Ana, and for good reason. She tried to fuck me over and broke my heart. We dated briefly when I was stationed in Germany. It started off as a fun fling and grew into something more. She did and said all the right things and before long, I thought she might be the one. But then things changed. Thankfully, AJ saw through her bullshit and pounded some sense into me.

“Dude, you need to wake the fuck up and see it - she’s using you.”

I argued back. “I can’t leave her, Janerek. She’s having my baby.” I ran my hand through my short hair. I had used protection and so her pregnancy was a shock, even though I knew condoms weren’t guaranteed to work one hundred percent of the time. The whole situation was a fucking nightmare. I didn’t want to marry her, but I couldn’t abandon my responsibilities to her or our child.

“Don’t you think the timing’s a bit suspect? You break up with her and suddenly she’s pregnant. Take her to the doctor. Verify she’s pregnant, and that it’s yours, before you marry her.”

He was right. I needed proof.

When I told her I wanted her to take a pregnancy test, she went bat shit crazy, “If you love me, you’d trust me!” She thought she could bully me into marrying her, but my eyes were finally open. I insisted on proof of paternity. When she realized I wouldn’t back down, she admitted she wasn’t pregnant. AJ was right. She wanted to marry an Army guy and had picked me. I was an easy target because I liked to help people, especially women in trouble, and hadn’t hesitated to help her. Ana wasn’t the first woman to take advantage of my protective, supportive nature, but I swore she’d be the last.

“I told her I wasn’t interested in reconnecting and blocked her number.”

“Good. You deserve better.” He held his glass up. “To the single life.”

“Amen brother.” I tapped my glass on his.

Chapter 4

Meg

It’d only been five days since I’d made a total and complete fool of myself.I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about me by now. If I said it enough, I might believe it. I braided my hair and checked my reflection to make sure I was good to go.Contacts! Can’t forget those.

Thirty minutes later, I arrived at the gun store hosting the class. I walked in and looked around. It wasn’t quite what I’d expected. Not that I knew what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t a clean retail space with clothes, and lots of things I couldn’t identify, lined up on racks and shelves. The one thing I expected to see but didn’t was guns. The store was quiet except for the sounds of muffled booms coming from the back.That must be where the guns are.I asked the salesman where the self-defense class was being held. He pointed over my shoulder to a tall floor mounted sign with the SSI logo at the top.

“Behind you, it’s the door in front of the sign.” He gave me a friendly smile. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.”

I walked to the door and peeked in. They’d set up chairs in a semi-circle along the edges of the room, with open floor space in the middle. John and his sons were talking while they unpacked black and red square pads.Maybe I can sneak in unnoticed.Keeping my eyes on the floor in front of me, I snuck to the back, choosing a chair that allowed me to see the door. Keeping my head down, I lifted my eyes to look at the only other women in the room. They appeared to be mother and daughter, the younger looked like she was about my age. They both had long, wavy, dark hair and wore black yoga pants and tank tops in slightly different shades of pink. I couldn’t help but think,I wish I had a relationship like that with my mother. Three more women walked in and talked to John before choosing seats.

I inspected the floor to avoid accidentally making eye contact with one of the Sheppards. I knew I couldn’t avoid them completely, but I wanted to minimize the risk of me embarrassing myself.

I was studying a stain on the floor to distract myself when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up. Jamie was standing in front of me with a clipboard and pen in his hand. “Hey Meg. You snuck by us before we could ask you to sign in.”

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. I reached out and took the extended clipboard. “Sorry.”Why am I whispering?

“No need to apologize for snagging the best seat in the house.” Jamie’s tone was light and friendly, like he could sense my nervousness and wanted to put me at ease.

“Thanks.” I handed the clipboard back to him and forced myself to smile, hoping it’d help me seem less nervous.

“We’re glad you could make it,” he said before walking back to the front of the classroom.

“Thanks.” So far, so good.

John introduced himself and his sons after everyone signed in and sat down. They were wearing matching navy SSI t-shirts and tan cargo pants. Jack was a taller, younger version of his father. It surprised me I hadn’t noticed when they visited Mary last week, but then again, I’d been too busy embarrassing myself to notice.

Determined to stay focused and learn as much as I could, I started taking notes as soon as he began talking, but put my pen down when I heard John say, “We’ll hand out worksheets at the end of class.”

“The most important thing anyone, especially women, can do to protect themselves is to Pay Attention To Your Surroundings.” John emphasized the last five words as he made eye contact with every woman in the room, pausing and clearing his throat loudly to get the attention of two teens who were on their phones and clearly not paying attention. “The second,” he continued after they put their phones down, blushing, “is to trust your gut.”

He talked for a few more minutes, giving us examples of actively paying attention and what trusting our instincts might feel like.

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