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“Um,” I paused, debating. Jack waited patiently while I twisted my purse strap in my hands. The words came out before I could stop them. “Yeah, I’ll need time to run home and clean up. Where do you want to meet?”Please don’t let me regret this.

I talked to Mary the next morning. She was happy to extend my notice indefinitely if I wanted, like Jack said she would.

Jack and I met for a late lunch at a local deli. It went well, all things considered. Our conversation was stilted at first. We both felt a little awkward.

I noticed I was still censoring myself and admitted, “I don’t know how to talk to someone I don’t have to hide from. I keep analyzing every thought. But I don’t have to anymore, not with you.” I couldn’t hold back my nervous laugh.

“No, you don’t. Not now. Not ever.” Jack reached over and laid his strong hand over my trembling one.

Jack walked me to my car and asked if we could meet for lunch again on Thursday. I agreed. I could do lunch. Lunch felt safe.

Our lunch date on Thursday went better. We were more relaxed than we were on Tuesday. I even shared a few of my rare, happy family memories. Jack listened, asked a few questions, and shared some of his memories. Before we left, he asked me if he could take me on a date Friday night.

I hesitated.Do I really want to do this?Should I be rekindling my relationship with Jack instead of searching for a new place to live?No, I wanted this.

Jack waited patiently for my reply. To a casual observer, he might seem relaxed, but his clenched jaw and rigid back gave him away. He was nervous. It was the final straw to my camel’s back of reluctance. I said yes. And I meant it.

I’d figure the rest out later.I should have left Weatherford when I had the chance. It was too late now. I couldn’t deny my feelings. If my presence wasn’t putting them all in danger, I might have reconsidered leaving.

Jack handed me a gorgeous bouquet of pink roses when I answered the door on Friday. I should have known he’d bring flowers. I hugged him before taking the flowers to the kitchen.

The date was going well until Jack asked me if I wanted to get in some training over the weekend. I was about to say yes when I remembered the raffle table.

“There was only one SIG on the raffle table. And it was a different color than the one I won.”

“Because it’s not. I donated the second gun when you didn’t win.” Jack had the good sense to look ashamed.

At least he was honest. “So you bought me a gun? After I said I didn’t want yours?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I didn’t buy it. I won it at a conference. It’s the same one I suggested lending to you. I wanted you to win so you could train with your own gun. But you didn’t.” He picked up his beer but didn’t take a sip. “So, I donated the second SIG and asked ma to say it was an anonymous donation made at the last minute.”

“She helped you?”

“Please don’t blame her. I harassed her until she agreed.”

“I don’t blame her.” I left the rest unsaid. “What would you have done with the gun if you hadn’t donated it?” I made air quotes around the word donated.

“Convince you to let me sell it to you. Guns depreciate, kind of like cars. The minute it’s out of the store, it goes down in value, so I could sell you a new one at a used price.”

“And if I ask someone if that’s true…” I didn’t know why I was being so ungrateful.

“They’ll say yes. Dammit, I wanted to do something nice for you.” Jack asked, “Is that a crime?”

“No.” It was my turn to look ashamed. I picked up my water glass, smiled, and said, “Thank you,” before taking a sip.

He reached over and held my free hand. “You’re welcome.”

On the ride home, Jack told me he wanted to teach me how to draw from a holster this weekend. It sounded like a lot to learn in one lesson. But Jack assured me it wouldn’t be half as hard as it sounded.

He walked me to my door and gave me a long, tight hug. I loved his strong, comfortable hugs. He placed a kiss on the top of my head before releasing me. Jack adjusted us so he was blocking the line of sight of the camera. He brushed an errant hair behind my ear and trailed his hand down my chin, giving me goose bumps. “Can I kiss you?” His voice sounded deeper than normal.

I stared into his eyes, and after what felt like an eternity, I nodded. I really want him to kiss me. “Yes.”

Jack leaned down and placed a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. A perfectly respectable goodnight kiss. Tender. Brief. I sighed. He was respecting my wishes, taking it slow. It was what I wanted. Right? Right.

Jack interrupted my thoughts when he lifted my chin. I opened my eyes and smiled. “Good night.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll pick you up Sunday at ten.”

“Yeah, um, okay. Thank you. I had a nice evening.” I tried to sound casual, to not give away my excitement, and was one hundred percent sure I had failed.

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