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“In the brown sedan parked at the end of the lot,” Doug answered. “I made sure we couldn’t see inside your apartment.”

“Thanks, I guess.” I slammed the laptop closed.

Jamie sat back down.

“You know about Sullivan?” I asked the room.

I saw John and Jamie nod and assumed AJ, and Doug did too.

“You did this, even though I didn’t ask for help? Even though I can’t pay you?” It was a lame question, but I couldn’t sort through the chaos in my mind to find a better one.

They nodded and murmured, “Yeah.” John’s yes stood out.

“Is there anything I should know about Sullivan right now? Like, has he left Boston?”

“He’s still there. We’ll tell you if anything changes.” John answered.

“Right.” I nodded as I replied, glancing at everyone except Jack. I wasn’t sure I could stay strong if I looked him in the eye.

I took a sip of water, put the bottle down, and hid my shaking hands under the desk. “You’re still helping me? Even though Jack and I broke up?”

I saw Jack flinch in my peripheral vision.

“Yes. And we’ll continue monitoring things.” John’s response was direct. “If you decide you don’t want our help, we’ll remove the camera from the parking lot and stop monitoring your parents. But we’ll continue to monitor Sullivan until enough time has passed that I no longer believe he’s a threat to my family.”

It was my turn to flinch as the color drained from my face. I knew Sullivan might connect me to Grannie’s, but I didn’t think Mary would be in danger. I’m his target, so there was no reason for him to hurt her. But if John thought he was a threat, then he probably was.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Sheppard. I didn’t think I put anyone else in danger. There’s no reason for him to hurt Mary.” What had I done? “I’d never,” I fought back my tears. “I wouldn’t.” But I did. “I did everything I could, I didn’t think he’d be able to find me.” I sucked in air as I wiped the tears off my cheek. “And he hasn’t.

“Yet.” John said. “It wasn’t hard to figure it out, and if we can do it, so can he.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “I know,” I choked out the words. More tears ran down my face.Jack really should keep tissues on his desk. I wiped my face with my hands and took a deep breath.Why did I think I could do this?

They already knew everything, and I didn’t want them to stop helping me but I wasn’t good at asking for help. I sucked in a deep breath and spat out the words before I lost my nerve. “If I accept your help, can we set up a payment plan?”

Jamie and Jack spoke up, telling me I didn’t have to pay. They didn’t understand. “I, I have to. I can’t be in debt, not to anyone, I just… I can’t.” This mess was because of my father’s debt, and Sullivan always reminded me that I owed him a debt.

“We’ll work something out.” John answered. For the first time I was grateful he didn’t like me.

I nodded, “Thank you.” I didn’t know how I’d pay them, but I’d figure it out.

After a few long seconds, I turned to Jack. He was watching me quietly. I couldn’t believe he did all this to help me. I’d been such a fool. And a bitch. I assumed the worst without ever giving him a chance to explain.

I clenched my fists to give myself courage. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you. You’re the first person I’ve trusted since my grandmother. When you said you wanted to protect me, right after telling me you knew about my past, I snapped.” I closed my eyes and inhaled. “Which isn’t a normal response. Most people would be grateful, but,”You can do this. “Sullivan always told me he was protecting me.” I talked to my feet. “Fucking asshole protected me alright. He didn’t let anyone beat me, and he didn’t let me get addicted to drugs. He only drugged me when I had a ‘date’.” I didn’t think they needed the air quotes to understand what I meant but I did it anyway.

“Fuck.” Someone hissed at the same time someone else said, “Bastard.” I didn’t know who said what because they spoke at the same time. It didn't matter, I could feel the anger in the room, but it wasn’t directed at me.

I met Jack’s eyes. “When you said you wanted to protect me, I heard his voice. I couldn’t separate you in my mind.”

“Jesus, Meg, I -”

I didn’t want to lose my nerve, so I cut him off. “I know you’re not like him. I do. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more open with you. I didn’t dare-”

“Meg, please-”

I ignored him. “I’m not saying it justifies your actions. It doesn’t. But I guess we both had our reasons.” I sniffled, no longer trying to hold back my tears. “I tried to stay away from you Jack, God knows I tried. But you were so damn charming, and persistent. I tried to keep you at arm’s length, I did. But then I didn’t want to anymore, even though I knew I should. I figured once you saw how fucked up my life is, you’d give up. But you didn’t. You…”

I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “I’ve lived most of my life in fear, thinking, believing I couldn’t trust anyone. But I trusted you.”

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