Page 12 of Restrain Me

“Bailey! What is wrong with you?” There’s a bit of laughter behind her words, but also a hint ofI’m gonna punch you for being so stupid.

“I don’t know.” I hug a throw pillow against my chest. “I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“Is it weird? To just keep hooking up with a stranger?”

“A stranger who communicates with you and meets your needs and gives you mind-blowing orgasms?” she asks, but doesn’t wait for my answer before she continues. “No. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. I get it, ya know. I thought it was strange at first too. Or that there was something wrong with me for wanting the things I want. But there’s not. You know that, right? You are completely, 100% normal.”

My chest tightens at her words. I know that. Logically, I definitely know there is nothing wrong with me for wanting the things I do.

And yet… emotionally, something in my subconscious is shouting at me. Calling me a slut, a whore, every name in the book.

“Do you like him?” she asks.

“I think so.”

“Was he respectful of your boundaries?”

“Too respectful.” I laugh a little. “He wanted to take things slow, and I was ready to keep going.”

She laughs at that. “Then he sounds like an excellent partner. Look, Bai, you don’t have to marry the guy. You’re just sleeping with him. And having good sex is fun. Enjoy yourself. And don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“You’re right.” She is right. I should be just having sex and enjoying myself. There’s no reason to continue judging myself needlessly, especially when it seems I’ve found someone who can help me explore my kinks in this way.

“Okay,” I tell Ivy. “I’m texting him back.”

“Yes!” she screeches. “Text him back right now and when you’re done, I want to hear all the dirty details.”

“Okay, I’m doing it!” I say, pulling the phone away from my ear so I can finally read his text.

Grant: I really enjoyed the other night. I’m ready for a round 2, but only when you are. How are you feeling?

Bailey: I loved it. And I’m feeling great. I’m excited for round 2 with you.

Grant: I was getting worried you weren’t going to text me back. Want to meet this Friday night?

Bailey: Sorry I kept you waiting. Friday is perfect.

Grant: Don’t apologize, beautiful. I’ll see you then, and we’ll take another step toward making your fantasy come true.

Bailey: I can’t wait.

Friday is only two days away. Already my mind is spinning with thoughts of what Grant will have in store for me this time.

And I wasn’t lying. I can’t wait.

Heat thrums through my body as I think of what to wear, my confidence boosted knowing Grant wants me as much as I want him. I get the sudden urge to buy something new, an outfit that will blow Grant’s mind and make me look like the sex goddess I want to be.

“I have to call you back,” I tell Ivy. I need a moment or two. I have some shopping to do, and then I might need some alone time. Just the memories of Grant’s hands on my body have me aching for release.

7

I’m not as nervous the second time I arrive at Desire. The club is the same as before, coated with neon purple lighting and thrumming with low music. I wait for Grant at the bar again, tugging at the skintight purple dress I’m wearing with a leather harness I ordered online.

There’s a part of me that feels self-conscious in the clingy outfit, but there’s another part of me that notices all the lingering eyes admiring the dress and the way my legs look in the high heels.

I look good. Even with my brain fighting me on it.

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