Page 11 of Restrain Me

Once he puts on his robe, we go back to the bedroom.

I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.

Scratch that.

I know I have.

Because there’s no way in hell that Grant is real.

But damn, do I love this.

I let myself sink into the bed, curled in the soft robe as Grant fetches the room service pizza.

I think my fantasy just expanded a bit.

6

Ican’t stop thinking about Grant.

About the club. About what he did to me in the hotel room. And also, about the pizza… because that was surprisingly good pizza for room service at a sex club. I’m not gonna question it.

There’s a text waiting for me on my phone, left unread, because I’m too nervous to open it. I want to see him again. I want to be on my knees, completely vulnerable, as he uses me. And something about that scares me. Terrifies me, actually.

But I loved every moment. I can’t deny that.

Still, something tugs at me, wondering if this is wrong. If there’s something wrong with me for wanting these things? For loving the way the handcuffs felt when they bit at my skin, relishing in the feeling of being completely vulnerable, at the mercy of the man in front of me. I wanted to be used, to be forced. Grant didn’t really force me, though. He checked in every step of the way, making sure the entire experience was pleasurable for me.

I pull out my phone, ignoring the message from Grant and instead pulling up my friend Ivy’s contact. She answers on the third ring, greeting me with her bubbly voice.

“I need your advice,” I finally say after we’ve gone through the niceties.How are you? What have you been doing? How’s life?

“Of course. What’s up?”

“I did a thing…” I say, settling in on my couch.

“Okay, tell me more.” I imagine her flipping her red hair over her shoulder as she waits for me to spill my secrets.

“I took your advice. About signing up for that app you told me about. And I met someone.”

“Oh my God! Yes! That’s amazing! Are you going to meet him?”

“Well, that’s kinda of the thing… I already did.”

“And you didn’t tell me!” Ivy shouts.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know. It felt weird.”

“Shut up. I told you all the dirty details about mine. Spill it, dude.”

“It was amazing.Hewas amazing. I can’t even describe it.” I curl into the corner of my sofa as I admit the truth to my friend, my belly swooping at just the thought of Grant.

“I get it. Good sex is out of this world.”

“Exactly.”

“So, when are you meeting him again?” she asks, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Ugh, I don’t know,” I groan. “I’m currently ignoring his last message…”

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