Page 61 of Alliance

Ice cream with Grandpa, parties with Lily, silence with Madi… and Naz. That one has too many facets. Grilled cheese and whiskey. Happiness and sorrow. Dive bars and the feeling of his leather interior against my skin while he fucks me. I’ll remember the way his lips feel against mine, the heat that flushes through my body at the thought of him.

I’ll always hold those moments close to my heart, even if I box them away and try to forget.

“They left to get mimosas,” Madi tells me when she sees my eyes flicker around the room we’re in. It’s a large space in the back of the church, reserved for brides to get ready on their wedding days.

But it’s just Madi and I in here. I didn’t want a whole bridal party, and it was one of the few requests that was honored.

The door to the room swings open, I can see in the mirror as John enters without a knock. His eyes shift around the room before they land on me. He shuts the door behind him quickly.

“We don’t have much time,” he says, and I can sense the urgency that lingers in the words.

“What are you talking about?” I spin around, lifting the puffy dress as not to trip over the layers of tulle.

"Naz is outside in a black Ford Escape. You can walk out there, get in that car and never come back.”

My heart stops. The steady drumming of it ceases and my jaw goes limp. “John,” I breathe, “what are you talking about?”

It feels like the world has tilted off its axis. One second everything was spinning and leading toward the inevitable marriage, and then so quickly it stopped, the globe tilts, the spinning halts and I’m left here panting, unsure what to make of this new development.

It’s too good to be true, so there must be some catch, something I’m missing.

This isn’t real.

I blink furiously, trying to make this dream go away before my emotions come back. Before I fill up with hope and give Davis something to prey on.

“You can be free, Lana. This is the only way I can help you. But if you get in that car, prepare to never be able to come back to New Orleans. Junior is dead. Sam is in prison. If I don’t...” He trails off, leaving the words unsaid between us. But I know what he means. If he doesn’t win this war, it’s over. There will be no one left on my side. If he doesn’t win, my parents will, and no one will be here to protect me. “You won’t come back, understand?”

I can’t say yes. I can’t leave.

Family is everything.

Those words my grandfather said echo through my brain, bouncing off the walls of my skull. If I leave right now, if I take this out that John is giving me, am I abandoning my family?

“What about Madi?” I ask. Because if I leave, I’m leaving her behind too. What will she do without me, without an ally in her court? And what if Aunt Caterina forces her to marry Davis in my place? I can’t do that to her.

“I’ll take care of her. You need to decide now. Stay or leave.” John’s words come out harsh, he’s forcing me to make this decision without giving me a second to think about it. I need to weigh the options, assess the pros and cons. But his dark expression is focused on me and he’s waiting for me to make the decision now.

I’m a prisoner here in this life. I’m adapting to their rules, trying to make the best of it but I know I will never find happiness here. I’ll always be looking for an escape route. Staring at every rope and every knife wondering if that will be my way out.

But maybe, maybe I’m looking at my escape plan all wrong.

I’ve been copying Lily, looking at everything through the same lens as her. But her lens was broken, distorted. She took the wrong escape plan, I know that now. Because her way to freedom shattered me, crushed my soul and left me hollow.

I don’t have to make that same mistake.

I can take a different path.

My heart races even though every fiber of my being wants to run out to that car with the man I love. But there’s still something keeping my feet planted to the church floor.

“Take off the dress and run,” Madi says. Her voice is strong and unwilting. She doesn’t look unsure like me, instead she says the words in a demanding tone.

Madi steps to me quickly, grasping my hands in hers. “Go Lana. Run. And don’t look back. You have a chance to have happiness. You shouldn’t be standing here overthinking it, you should take it and drive off into the sunset. And if we never see each other again”—she shrugs her shoulders, but her eyes are glassy—“then that’s okay. Because I’ll always know that one of us made it out. Lily would be fucking thrilled that it’s you.”

I can’t stop the tears that escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks, smearing the makeup that had been applied this morning.

“What will happen?” I ask John, even though my hands are still entwined with Madi’s. My chest is aching from hearing Lily’s name. Lily, who jumped over the edge of the balcony to prevent this day from happening to her. I should run if only for her memory, if only so no Romano sister has to walk down that aisle.

Fuck you, Davis, even money can’t make a woman marry you.

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