Page 47 of Alliance

“I don’t’ know—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he cuts me off as he turns the car onto the next street too quickly. The speed of the turn shoves me into the car door. He’s being reckless. Davis has a bad habit of being unhinged around me.

“I haven’t slept with him,” I say, gripping onto the handle on the door frame. “But I figured you wouldn’t believe me and it doesn’t matter because I’m not pregnant.”

He swerves again, the motion making my stomach churn.

“I swear to God, girl, if you’re carrying his child”—his teeth clench—“I’ll cut it out myself.”

I believe him, which makes the threat that much scarier.

I don’t know what to say to end this rage that’s consuming him, what to do to make him not want to murder me. “I’m not,” I whisper, and he doesn’t respond, but he does slow the car down. I exhale with relief.

But inside, I’m still shaking.

I don’t want this.

This fear, this scrutiny. I don’t want to live like this.

Davis drives through the streets, taking me back to my house, and I can’t get away from him fast enough. But I can count the weeks until our wedding on one hand, and my stomach revolts at the thought.

I can’t fucking live like this.

I don’t count the tablets of Advil before I tip back my head and drop the little red pills in my mouth. My eyes linger on the glass shelves in the medicine cabinet, looking for something else to take. Anything else to numb me, to silence the racing thoughts that fill my head.

I want a break.

Needa fucking break.

I can’t handle the emotions that are competing with each other for first place. All the buildings are falling down around me, and I don’t know where to run because nowhere is safe. I knock things off the shelves as I spin around bottles and push aside my beauty products. There’s nothing good here, nothing to dull the edges.

I heave in another breath, my chest rattling with the action. Everything feels on fire. Everything’s overwhelming.

And then in my head, I see Diane again, that split second where her face changed, realizing she had angered her husband. It was that flash, that quick moment, fear washed over her features. I saw it, the fear of what was to come next. What kind of hit, what kind of nasty words will he say to make you feel like nothing. And he will make her feel like nothing.

That’s what men like him and Davis do. They sling the right words, the right hits, everything they do is aimed at controlling. At owning us.

I didn’t need to see him hit her to know what thoughts spun through her head.

How many years has it been for her? How many bruises has she covered up? They have two kids. Two more people she has to protect, take care of all with that paralyzing fear.

I can’t do that.

I can’t get up every day, waiting for him to snap. His charming demeanor disappears alarmingly quick and he expects his every wish and whim to be followed. Where does that leave me?

No, I can’t do that.

But I don’t see a way out. The wedding is less than a month away. My parents are determined to make this happen, no matter how much I beg or try to talk to them. Hell, I sported his handprint on my neck for weeks, and they didn’t give a shit.

Junior has made no move to stop them, and while I think my uncle is better than my parents, I can’t be sure he’s not okay with this plan.

They want this Alliance. Need another politician in their pocket.

I wish it weren’t like this.

Lily flashes through my mind, images of her running along the edge of Grandfather’s property. I’m behind her and she’s reaching for me, trying to pull me along with her. I remember the day Dad was playing with us in the backyard. Mom watches from behind, a wide smile on her face.

The memory slows me down. I lean against the bathroom wall, letting my back slip down the surface.

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