Page 91 of The Life We Left Behind

“And thankfully, you’ll never have to find out.” She kissed the side of my head and gave me a gentle hug. “You’re stuck with me now, kid. Now drink your hot chocolate and let me mother you.”

When I turned back to Trace, it was to find him slipping back into the kitchen.

“Where’s—”

“He’s got this. Let him deal with the crowds. Just sit, Delaney. Sit and look after yourself for once.”

It felt so wrong. So hard to let go.

“What about Cade?”

“He’s teaching Booker how to play Mario Kart, which was honestly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. We need to make a list of stuff to force him to do. The bear-man needs to learn how to be a human again.”

I snorted then. Blake always had a way of making me smile, even when it felt impossible. It was part of why everyone loved her.

“I think I want?—”

“Cade? Booker’s going to bring him down after they’ve played a couple of games.”

She knew me so well. I couldn’t relax until I knew he was all right. I needed to see it with my own eyes.

I sipped at the sweet chocolate drink and finally leaned back into the porch swing, staring out at the empty flower beds and the bare garden that I’d never seen unattended before.

“It’s strange seeing this place like this. It was only ever me and my dad here, but it had still been a home. He always madesure of that. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. Even when he was out working on the farm, and I was the only one in the house, I never felt alone. But now, it just doesn’t feel right like this.”

My gaze moved over the empty fields and the old orchards.

“So, we put it back to how it used to be.” Blake shrugged. “You know, I think he did this so that you wouldn’t feel trapped here. I don’t think he was trying to push you away from this place. I think he wanted you to look at a blank slate and make the decision for yourself.”

“That doesn’t sound like my father,” I admitted. “He always used to say that I needed to dream bigger than this tiny town. That the world was bigger than Willowbrook and the possibilities were endless. Sometimes I used to think that he let me go too easily. That it should have been harder for him to let me go. But I think he’d always been preparing himself for it. He would have hated me coming back here.”

Maybe that was why we’d drifted apart over the last few years. He didn’t want to encourage me to come back. He wanted me in the city. Not in a terrible way. He just wanted the very best for me and didn’t think I could get it here.

“You know I met your dad, right?” Blake suddenly said, and I looked at her in surprise.

“Of course, I know you did.”

“He loved you, Delaney. He would have loved to have you here at home. He just didn’t want to ask you. Wanting the best for you and letting you live your own life doesn’t mean that he didn’t want you around. Papa James always gave you the space to make your own choices.”

Had he?

I didn’t have any bad memories of my father. Not even from when I was a teenager. He always trusted me, probably more than he should have.

I shouldn’t be doubting him now that he wasn’t here anymore.

Blake was right. He’d always been there when I needed him, and I couldn’t fault him for wanting the world for me because it was exactly what I wanted for Cade.

When I turned back to the house, Cade was there, standing at the back door, looking so lost.

“Hey, come here, kiddo.”

He ran to me, squeezing between me and Blake as he sniffled.

Booker stood in the doorway, watching over us before he nodded and retreated back into the house.

The three of us sat huddled together, gently rocking on the swing, lost in our own thoughts for what felt like hours. They weren’t uncomfortable hours. It was time slipping past us unbothered, as we remembered, as we grieved, and as we tried to find a way to heal from it all.

“Why do people leave?” Cade asked quietly, not even lifting his head from where it was pressed against my side. I could feel the damp patch of his tears on the fabric, but his voice sounded clearer now.

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