Page 87 of The Life We Left Behind

I looked at Delaney in confusion. “Money, Delaney. I won’t have you struggling if I can help. This place is going to be expensive, and kids aren’t cheap, right? You have to, like, feed them and buy them clothes.”

Okay, I was grasping at straws now. What other stuff made kids expensive? I had no idea what I was doing, and this was a cold hard slap from reality right now.

Delaney laughed, pulling me out of my head as I concentrated on her. “Is this what I do? I can see why Blake finds it so funny now.”

I shook my head. It was impossible not to smile when she sounded so happy.

“I don’t need your money, Trace. That’s not why I’m here.”

“I know that’s not why you’re here, but Delaney, you’ve been doing this all on your own. It couldn’t have been easy. I’m kind of in awe, if I’m honest. But you’re not working, and I’m making you move here…”

“You’re not making us move, Trace. We’re coming here because we want to. And I have money.”

I must not have looked like I believed her—I kind of didn’t—because she continued, “Adelaide left me everything when she passed. She had a massive condo in Manhattan that I ended up selling. You know how much those things are worth, right?”

I blinked, the numbers coming up in my head not really feeling like reality.

“Okay, you have money. But Cade is still my son, Delaney. And I want?—”

“I get it,” she added quickly. “But can we do it later?”

I started to pull back, thinking that this was when she’d tell me I wasn’t going to be as involved in their lives as I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be some part-time dad. I’d missed so much already, but that wasn’t the point. I wanted Delaney. I wanted them both. I knew I had to show her that I could be trusted. That my parents were out of the picture. Whatever she needed from me, whatever it took, I’d do it. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

“No, I don’t mean it like that.” She grabbed my hand that limply cradled my phone now, and after tossing the phone on the couch cushion, she threaded her fingers through mine. “Your mom…she gave me a check.” My blood boiled as the words slipped through my lips. “I never cashed it. And if we’re going to do this. If we’re going to try to make our family work, I don’t want her, or anyone else, to ever be able to say that I was doing it for the money.”

The rage inside me at the mention of my mother’s actions bubbled to a point where I thought it would slip loose from the hold I’d had over it since I’d learned what she’d done. But the woman sitting next to me didn’t need that right now.

And what she was saying made complete sense.

I’d want the same thing if I was in her position.

“For now,” I told her. “I can give you this for now. But not forever, Delaney. I need you to listen to me right now and hear exactly what I’m saying. I’m not going to be a part-time dad. I won’t wait in the shadows for a few hours here or there. You’re everything. You always have been, and now so is Cade. You’re back, Delaney, and I’m never letting you go again. I want it all. I want the cold winter nights where you put your ice-cold feet on my legs. The maddening moments when you can’t make a decision until you’ve written fifty-six lists. I want the fun and the laughter, the hard times and the arguments. I want to give youeverything, all that I have and anything I find throughout the years. I don’t deserve you. I don’t have anything to offer that’s of any use to you. Not even my heart, Lanes. Because it’s been yours all along, but I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance, anyway. Let me prove to you that I’m worth it. Let me show you that I can be the man you deserve to have at your side.”

“Trace,” she whispered, “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to hers as I breathed her in. “Yes, I do, Delaney. They forced us apart, and they never should have been able to. I should have fought for you.”

“You were a kid…”

“So were you. And look at what you did. Look at Cade and how much of an amazing kid he is.”

I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. Everything had changed, and it needed to. Every priority I’d had before now was cast aside. They were all that mattered.

“I don’t need you to prove anything to us, Trace. I just need you to be here.”

“And I am. For as long as you’ll have me and probably even longer still,” I joked. “You’re stuck with me now. I’m never letting you go.”

“I can think of worse places to be,” she murmured, leaning forward and pressing her lips to mine.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

DELANEY

Ileaned into the steamy stream of water and breathed in the heat for a moment. My eyes closed, and I reveled in the slight sting from the heat of the water against my skin. It was enough to wake me up and clear my mind of the lust that always seemed to cloud it whenever Trace was around.

Tomorrow was the funeral. I was running through the list of arrangements that had already been made and trying to figure out if there was anything I hadn’t done. Not that there had really been all that much for me to arrange. Maybe that was why it felt like there was something missing. I’d barely had to do anything, and deep down, I knew this should have been an immense task to arrange something that would have been worthy of my father.

I sighed. I hated having my mind filled with this stuff. It crept up on me in the quiet moments. It felt like I was falling, like an inevitable crash was coming for me, and I had no way to avoid it. Sometimes I was terrified that if I closed my eyes, I might disappear into the sorrow and end up somewhere I didn’t know how to escape.

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