Page 72 of The Life We Left Behind

“Don’t worry. Blake’s not really mad,” Cade reassured me. “She’ll tell you tomorrow. She’s the best at telling stories.”

I grinned. I couldn’t help myself. Cade wasn’t thinking this was a one-time meeting and then I’d be a shadow in his life. He saw me around in the future.

When I looked across the table at Delaney, she gave me a soft smile, and I knew she was thinking the same thing.

“That’s good. You seem really close to Blake.”

“Yeah, she’s one of my best friends.”

Some people would probably think that was pretty sad for a nine-year-old body to admit about a grown woman. But I could see what Blake brought to his life even from the few moments I’d spent with her, and I was happy he had someone like her in his life. Happy that Delaney had her by her side all this time. That she wasn’t alone.

“All my friends think she’s really cool. But when she comes to watch our baseball games, they get all weird and try to show off for her.” Cade’s face wrinkled in disgust, and I laughed.

Oh, to be young and hormonal.

“You play baseball?” I asked, changing the subject. “I used to play with my brothers, but I wasn’t really all that good.”

And that was all it took.

Any apprehension he’d had in his eyes when he first saw me was long gone, and Cade launched into telling me all about baseball, school, and his friends in the city. He had this infectious happiness that you couldn’t help but get swept up into.

Once the ice cream was gone, we moved into the living room and settled onto the couches. I could tell that despite the amount of sugar he’d consumed, Cade was quickly running out of energy. His eyelids were starting to droop, but he was fighting it hard, not wanting to stop.

I didn’t want to stop, either. I didn’t want to leave my son, this incredible kid who was the most warm and happy person I’d ever met. I was in awe of him and of Delaney for raising him all alone.

There was a faint glimmer of sadness in the back of my mind for everything that I’d missed, but it was impossible to feel when Cade was sitting here in front of me.

At a certain point, he’d snuggled into Delaney’s side, fighting the sleep that was threatening to take him. He was telling me all about the different types of Pokemon and the new game that was due to come out, and he was desperate to play.

I tried to listen. I really did. But it was like a completely different language, and I found myself just nodding and agreeing at the appropriate moments.

I looked at the pair of them, snuggled up on the sofa, and pulled the blanket off the back to tuck it in around them. Delaney smiled sleepily, kissing the top of Cade’s head, who was getting quieter and quieter as he started to fall asleep.

This was what I’d wanted my life to be. All these years of merely existing and trying to fight my way through every day that came, and this had been out there waiting for me. The life I belonged in, the one I was never going to let slip away from me now.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

DELANEY

Cade was quiet at breakfast the next morning. Part of me wanted to try to gently encourage him to talk it out with me, and another part of me wanted to let him have the time he needed to work through his thoughts and come to me with his questions.

I wasn’t sure I had all the answers to some of the questions that I knew he’d no doubt have, but I’d always be ready to listen to them.

“What happens now?”

I looked up from my notebook where I was going over the funeral arrangements, paranoid that I’d missed something, and found my son sitting, staring at me, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. When I could tell that he was disappointed, I set aside my notebook and added, “There isn’t a timescale or a schedule for how we do this, honey. I think we just play it by ear and see how it goes. Take time to get to know each other again, and then sit down and see what we all want the future to look like.”

He nodded thoughtfully, going back to his cereal.

“Do you think you have some idea about what you want?” I asked carefully, already hating myself for the little nudge I was giving him.

How could I expect my nine-year-old to have any answers when I myself was struggling?

“Trace is cool,” Cade said, shrugging. “It might be nice to have him around.”

I tried to keep the smile off my face, happy that the first time they’d met each other had gone so well.

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