Page 41 of The Life We Left Behind

It was exactly what I’d needed and what I never should have done.

Basically, it was a mistake.

Trace and I were a mistake. There was no other way about it.

So why couldn’t I stop thinking about it?

“Why are you acting so weird?” Cade asked at the same time that I realized I was frozen on the porch steps.

I dug through my purse, pretending that I was looking for the car keys, as a hysterical giggle bubbled out of me.

I really was acting weird. It was pretty much my default setting at the minute. Maybe it was this place. I was confused. Yeah, let’s go with that. All the old feelings and memories were just confusing me because of the really,reallygood sex all night long with the father of my child who had abandoned us before he was even born.

That was what I should be concentrating on right now. Even if I knew it was time to extend a hand and see if Trace was interested in developing a relationship with his son. Just because he’d be in Cade’s life didn’t mean he had to be in my bed. This was his last chance. It was the only time I’d step out onto this ledge and make this offer to him. Not because Trace deserved a chance to get to know his son. But becausemy beautiful, wonderful son deserved a chance to have a father figure in his life.

“Tell me about your game,” I said instead of diving into all the chaos in my head that my son had no business knowing.

I didn’t want to traumatize the poor kid.

Cade launched into the finer intricacies of baseball as we drove into town, but as soon as the buildings came into sight, his love of the game was soon forgotten as he stared out the car window.

“Did you really grow up here?” he asked as I pulled into a space outside the small grocery store in town.

“Yeah, I did.”

Turning off the engine, I swiveled in my seat to look at my favorite person in the world. I could already tell that there was something on his mind.

“It must have been nice.”

“It was nice most of the time,” I admitted. I would never lie to Cade, and the truth of it was that I had enjoyed growing up in this town. “Living in a small town is so different from life in the city. There’s always someone around to witness any mischief you get into.”

I struck without warning, tickling Cade’s ribs, and his belly laugh warmed my soul.

“There’s no way you got into trouble.”

“You’d be surprised, kid.”

We climbed out of the car, and after I’d grabbed some shopping bags from the back, Cade took hold of my hand without a second hesitation, and we walked into the store. There’d come a day when he wouldn’t want to hold hands with his old mom, and I was going to enjoy every second of this while I could.

Cade was looking around wide-eyed, and I tried to take a moment to see the whole place from his perspective. The usualnoise of the city wasn’t here. Everyone just seemed to move at a slower pace. No one was rushing to get anywhere. Almost like they knew they had all the time in the world.

There were the usual stores that you’d find in a small town. Really, Willowbrook had everything you could need. If we lived here, we’d probably have to head out to a bigger grocery store once a month, but outside of that, there wasn’t much that the town couldn’t provide for us.

The block-paved streets were clean, and there wasn’t that lingering taste in the back of your throat from the fumes of passing cars.

“I think I’d like to live here,” Cade said quietly as we headed to the door of the grocery store.

My heart squeezed, and I started to look back at every decision I’d ever made, wondering if it had been the right one. Was Willowbrook where my son should be? Would this town be enough if Trace turned his back on us again?

We’d bought way too much. My guilt over Blake’s early morning and also a need to try to distract her from Trace being at the house last night had overridden my senses. Now, I’d ended up with at least two bags of junk food, but at least the other two had something resembling real food inside. The problem was I hadn’t exactly parked right outside the door, and now I had to figure out how I was carrying all this to the car.

“I can take that one,” Cade said, reaching for the heaviest bag. My little hero.

I shuffled through the bags, judging which was the lightest, and passed it across to him.

“Do you think you can manage that to the car?”

The sudden flush of red across his cheeks as he grabbed both handles seemed to imply no, but he nodded determinedly and staggered toward the door.

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