Page 17 of The Ivory King

“Ha! It’s easy if you know where to hit. A fast shot to the tickle berries, then a rushing attack to fold a knee to assist the attacker downward,” she boasted. “I’ve not met a man yet who remained standing when you double punched his balls.”

No, I had not either.

“Let’s sit.” I waved at the table. Kenton and I returned to our seats. Tezen flitted back to the side of my bowl and recaptured her carrot. “I’m glad your duty scrubbing the privies is over. I missed your company at the Mossbell fete.”

“Your guard captain has no qualms about making a princess scour the shitters,” she said before taking a large bite of her carrot with teeth as sharp as a silver barracuda. “Mm, pork fat is the bee’s stinger! Although V’alor is strict, he is fair, and he treats me as one of the men, which is all that I ask. I, too, missed that gathering, but I did not miss having those dung-brained twins asking me about pixie mating rituals. Do they honestly think we fuck differently than elves? Such lackwits.”

I sat back to watch her eat. Her family would be suffering fits of apoplexy if they saw her sitting at the table of a noble elf with her pointed chin coated with gravy.

“I was wondering if you would be traveling with the Stillcloud entourage as a guard or one of the invited elite to the capital. Your father and mother will be in attendance, I am sure.”

She wiped her mouth with the back of her gritty hand. “I will travel with you, my lord, as is my position. I do not plan to sit in the grand ballroom flapping my lashes at the king and his secretary or being cinched into corseted gowns and stupid slippers that pinch my toes. My eighteen sisters can act the simpering fools.”

“I thought there were only six Plumwax sisters,” Kenton questioned.

“Six, yes, but they feel like eighteen. Twenty on eyebrow waxing days,” Tezen tossed out, burped, smiled, and then returned to consuming her pilfered carrot. “Are you excited to attend court again, my lord?”

“I would much rather be here. The machinations of the royal court perplex me.” Tezen bobbed her dirty head as she fished a cube of smoked pig haunch from the bowl with gleaming eyes. “I have no time for the lies and backstabbing that takes place, which is why I plan to hide away as much as possible.”

Tezen peeked at me through ragged black bangs. “Your grandfather won’t like that, my lord.”

No, he would not, and that would be the first of many difficulties this trip to Celear would bring about. Ten days spent kissing rings and frittering away time and money. If Jassin wanted something to rail about, the expenditures of this trip should be at the top of his economic list and not the caging and transport of mountain voles.

ONE COULD TELL WHEN ONE WAS NEARINGthe capital of Melowynn, for the air smelled of sea.

Celear sat overlooking the Silvura Sea, a vast ocean that took on differing names depending on which side of our island nation one stood upon. If you were on the southern and eastern sides, then it was Silvura, and on the west, it was known as the Galesdi Sea. Far north, it was the Stormhold Sea. Galesdi was a Sandrayan word which meant ‘Feeder of Souls’, for the sea fed the dark-skinned elves that called the Black Sand Isles home. My tutelage in the Sandrayan language was good. My yeti was fair. My dwarven quite excellent as my language tutor for several seasons had been a dwarf, Porth—the dwarfish term for teacher—Kokri, who had drummed into my elven brain the curt inflections that made speaking dwarven so difficult for the elves. Our language was more lyrical to my ears, but then again, my ears were pointed.

“You have yet to reply to my last query,” Grandfather pointed out, pulling my thoughts from my school years. How easy life had been then, yet I had yearned to be older. Now I was older and wished to be younger. “Did you reply to the yeti counsel about the export of our wheat and rye in exchange for their furs?”

I sighed. He knew full well that I had returned that missive to the yeti. I’d sent the raven not two days ago. My sightlingered on the countryside, which was now less farmland and more urban. Gone were the vast fields of gold and soft browns. Outside the carriage, small and tightly packed homes grew closer as we rode through the western gates of Celear. The cry of gulls could just be heard over the din of the capital.

“I did, and the reply will be as always. They wish to have gemstones as well as grains.” Small children ran past our elegant carriage, the guards flanking our conveyance working to keep the tiny boys and girls out from under the feet of the four roan horses that clip-clopped over the cobblestones.

“They are the most difficult to barter with.” Grandfather sighed, his feet elevated on a stool as his calves had begun to swell on the first day of our three-day ride. “Always asking for gold and gems in exchange for rock crag goat pelts and ice shards.”

My sight touched on V’alor just to the left of our carriage. Tezen flew along at his side, Pasil behind, while the others flanked us.

“Without the ice shards from Mother Moth we would not be able to create the ice wine that all throughout Melowynn so enjoy, and which we bring in vast quantities of gold for our coffers,” I reminded him as I watched my lover sitting astride his steed, the bright coastal sun making his copper armor gleam. I’d not been in his arms for two nights as he had refused to come to my suite at the two innes we’d stayed at after leaving Renedith. “So the exchange seems a fair one to me.”

Umeris mumbled something just as the carriage hit a deep gulley that lurched us forward. I threw out an arm to keep the old elf on the richly padded bench. His feet slid from the stool to the carriage floor with a thud that made him grimace.

“Damn drivers,” Umeris groaned as we got him situated. “Stop fussing. I can place my feet upon a damn stool. Whoever is driving shall have his pay docked!”

“It is not the driver’s fault. It is the poor upkeep of the roads,” I explained, not for the first time, nor would it be the last. Infrastructure in Celear was sadly lacking. The roads were cracked and washed out and many of the sewers were busted after the last typhoon blew in and caused havoc. Hundreds of elves drowned as the ocean washed through the lower levels of the city, leaving dead everywhere. The cost to clean up had been astronomical and had, as always, been passed down to the vills who, sadly, had to hike taxes to keep our heads above water. The king was constantly criticized by his people for not caring about those who toiled under him, and as much as I liked our ruler, I could see why the common elf was disgusted.

This celebration alone was a case in point. The gold spent on ten days of nobility drinking and fucking throughout the castle would have paid twice over for the streets to be re-cobbled and the gutters repaired.

“Why are you young elves always so quick to criticize a government that has seen you raised in luxury?” Grandfather asked as he did nearly daily. I let my gaze drift back out the window to the hungry children of fishermen, cobblers, and huntsmen. “When I was your age, my loyalty was to the crown.”

“As is mine,” I replied by rote as we began the steady climb through narrow streets up to Avolire, the stronghold of the elven royal family for over two thousand centuries. “But that does not mean that I cannot call forth the faults of the crown when I witness them.”

“You would be better served to pay heed to remember your manners at court instead of salivating out the window like a hound staring at a trussed goose in a butcher’s window.”

My sight snapped away from V’alor to Umeris. The man knew just what nerves to pluck and had been doing so increasingly since our return from the Mossbells.

“I find it amusing that you only think to pluck at my lover when your argument has fallen on its face.” He opened his mouth to reply. “No, spare me your digs, for they hold no worth. All know that V’alor is a superb guardsman who cares for me deeply, just as I care for him. If you wish to sling arrows at me, choose a target that is above reproach.”

“No man or woman is above reproach, Aelir.”

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