Page 130 of Moth to a Flame

I’m the only person in Central Park.

The light coming from the lampposts is enough for me to see that.

But maybe he’s behind me.

Bravely, I spin on my heel and look for the source of the smell. I squint my eyes in search of a shadow, a figure. Something.

I won’t be fucked with.

The twenty-five-year-old me is stronger. I won’t allow for that to happen.

I’m not fifteen anymore. I’m also hyperaware that this is a dream. Another nightmare out of many.

And I’m stuck here, no matter how many times I will myself to wake up.

My limbs are heavy. My heart beats in a strange kind of cadence that’s reserved for those hours at night when my eyes are closed and terror strikes.

This isn’t real life.Nightmare. Nightmare. It’s a nightmare.

As I stand there alone with the scent of rotten apples around me, the memories of the day—of my real life—drift into my consciousness.

I waited for Landon to come back. I tried to stay awake, I really did. Ran from one side of the house to the other. Drowned myself in coffee. Chocolate, that helped me stay awake for a while there.

I went so far as to pinch and slap myself.

The pain didn’t keep me up. Nothing did.

After an entire day of losing my mind, freaking the fuck out, and praying my Landon will come back to me in one piece, I was drained.

So here I am. Stuck in this purgatory.

But I’m not afraid. Terror doesn’t clutch my lungs.

Despite being unable to move much, my blood runs hot in my veins. My hands are balled into fists. My lips twist into a snarl.

Landon’s not here. He’s inside me. A part of me.

Over the last few weeks, he’s crawled under my skin and I don’t just trust him. I’ve taken on some of his traits. The rage, the short temper.

The unhinged side of him that doesn’t cower from anything or anyone.

My teeth are bare. I’m ready to fight the sluggish feeling.

Ready to fighthim.

“I’ll kill you, you fuck.” This isn’t the moment to be sweet and thoughtful.

Lester is here.

Fucking with me.

I won’t be fucked with.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” Poison laces into my voice.

One foot after the other, I release myself from the shackles of my nightmare. I prowl forward, venturing into the bushes.

Once, I was dragged to that area. Raped there. Sodomized there.

---