Page 109 of Moth to a Flame

“No. None of them did.”

The longer we’re here, talking, the easier it is for me to get the words out. Talking to Regan about it makes my story smaller. Less significant. Less painful. My past isn’t a monstrous beast anymore.

“Mom had been busy with Dad. Showing up unannounced at the accounting firm where he worked. Screaming at him for lookingtoo hardat this or that actress on television. Getting down on her knees and begging him to promise he’d never, ever leave her. It was a shitshow. A trainwreck. I couldn’t wait to leave for college. I swore to myself I’d never ever be that person. I’d never love anything, just so I’d turn into…that.”

Those damn soulful brown eyes stare at me. She internalizes my stories. Turns them over inside her head.

I had no idea I appreciated the silence this much until I met her.

“I understand you so much better now.” She nudges one hand out from between us to cup my cheek. I wind a fist of her hair for the way she makes me feel. Normal. Accepted. “For you, the fear of killing me isn’t the worst of it. It’s what happened from the moment they met until they died that you can’t stand.”

“I’m not good for you.” I tug on her hair. “Yet I’ll never let go.”

“I’ll tell you what’s good for me.” The fire in her eyes shines brighter in the night. The desire to swallow her whole is incessant. “A fist in my hair. A kiss on every part of my body. A black gaze on me throughout my days and nights. Hands to ink my body. Someone to read with. To laugh with. To fuck me.An animal that only I get to calm down. Late-night talks, I need those too. Very much. All the time.”

When she drives her fingers through my hair and pulls me toward her, I go. I press my forehead to hers. She closes her eyes, pinching them shut. So do I.

“Someone who understands and sees me. Someone who trusts me with his brokenness and knows I will love it fiercely.” Her chest expands against mine. I’ve never felt this connected to a person in my life. “A man who’s as obsessed with me as I am with him. Who laughs when he’s being called out for being a jealous psycho.”

Her laugh is watery. I’ll kiss all her tears away as soon as she finishes. I have to have her words. I’ll die without them.

“Beingloved, Landon, that’s what’s good for me. You don’t get to take that away. You don’t get to hide. It’s mine. You. Are. Mine.”

“And you are mine, little lamb.” I breathe in her air, holding her as tight as I can without breaking her. “You are right when my entire world is so wrong. You heal me. You nurture me. I have and I will kill for you. I will love you until the end of time, and I won’t stop. I won’t ever stop.”

“Please, don’t.”

I kiss her until we’re out of breath. Until the sun comes up.

For a few hours, there’s nothing more important than my lips on hers.

Rapists, dead parents, family. Nothing exists.

Just her and me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Regan

“Age.”

On the outside, this nightmare feels identical to the rest of them. As real as they all were.

Looks exactly like that night that forever changed the course of my life.

On the inside, it’s the polar opposite.

I’m not afraid. My blood doesn’t run cold. No chill runs up my spine.

The monster can’t hurt me.

It can’t get to me.

Hewon’t let it.

“Age.” Lester’s demand does nothing to me this time.

Landon is here.

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