Page 178 of Quinlan

I don’t want to refuse him.

Slowly, I push the chair back. Get to my feet. Stare back at him through our reflections in the window.

My heart cracks at how beautiful he is. It’s being split down the middle by how not mine neither of them are.

Being fucked and praised, having a roof over my head and enough money to ensure my parents are taken care of, that’s nice. Really, truly nice.

The hollow parts of me need more than that. I can admit it to myself now.

Love.

I love him. All three of them.

I desperately need them to feel the same. To tell me they haven’t been lying to me.

But I can’t ask them to say that. For the sake of what’s left of my pride, I will not.

“Hands on the desk.” His footsteps echo in the silent room.

He pulls me out of my own head. Forcing me to focus on him and the imminent threat he imposes. I hurry to do as he says, shoving my laptop forward so I can put my hands there.

“I said…” My hands hover just over the desk when he’s behind me. Too late to do it on my own. His fingers curl around my wrists, his grip brutal. He’s ten times more vicious when he slams both my palms to the wood countertop. “Hands. On. The. Desk.”

I could breathe a second ago. With Damien’s front flush against my back, I’m struggling to let air into my lungs. His weight pressed to mine, the bruising grip—and just him—make it so I’m no longer my own person. I’m his...until I’m no longer useful to him.

When he lets go? When the three of them leave?

I’ll regroup. I’ll return to being this strong, independent, lonely woman I’ve always been.

I will.

Sigh.

It’ll hurt. It’ll be agony on top of all this grief I’ve finally allowed myself to feel.

Fuck it.

I’m done sobbing for the night. Done crying for a lifetime. My expression hardens, my shoulders tensing.

I twist my head to him, our gazes clashing. “Now what?”

“Attitude. I like that.” His thumbs brush the tops of my palms. They’re the only soft part of Damien. “You’ve been crying.”

“What gave me away?” I’m being a bitch. On purpose.

“Quinlan.”

My heart races, demanding to leap out and get to him. To all three of them. With them, I’m cared for. Cherished. I mean something. That’s what I thought.

My head isn’t as foolish. My head refuses to let me fall for the lie.

My head creates a wall around me. Helps me help Damien get to the kicking me out part faster.

“The red, puffy eyes? Or did you stalk me?” I curl my lips into a snarl. “Through the stupid laptop? Wow, I just love the way you three trust me.”

“Go on, darling. Get it out of your system.” He releases one of my wrists to shove the strap of my tank top down my shoulder. His teeth sink in. His mouth sucks on my flesh. I scream. I moan. Until he stops abruptly. “All the lies you’ve been telling yourself about us. The pain from that day in the pool. The grief that poisons your blood. Let me hear it.”

“You don’t trust me.” I’m talking about my email correspondences. I’m talking about their secrets. “You’re using me to hurt Rex. I’m nothing to you.”

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