Page 177 of Quinlan

At least the men didn’t see me cry while I was emailing my parents. I’m sure they didn’t. They would’ve called otherwise. They wouldn’t have let me cry by myself.

The three of them might be cold and cruel. They might have revenge plans in the forefront of their minds. They’re going to kill people. Their abusers.

And they care so much. Aboutme. I see it when Rome insists that I eat. When Damien’s smile loses its wickedness. When Liam wraps his arm around me at night, his touch says the words he can't always say.

They would’ve called to check on me.

“Or I could be delusional,” I say to the void. “Maybe they wanted my secrets to have leverage over me.”

My fingers rake through my hair, free from the restricting hairband. I tossed it on the wall before. That, and a pillow. Didn’t help.

The pain is still here. But hey, I tried.

“Maybe I am a fuck doll.” The words are spat out of my mouth. A futile attempt to mask the pain in my soul.

Disappointment settles in the pit of my stomach. Grief contributes to the never-ending pounding in my head. The fear of being abandoned clenches my heart.

“A pawn on this fucked-up chess board. Maybe I’ll be…”

A hysterical laugh bubbles in my throat. I’ve never been this miserable in my life. Never allowed myself to get this lost in self-pity.

There’s never been a moment for me to do it. I always had to move forward. Had parents to look after. A big half-brother to please.

Here, in this quiet space, where I’m literally not allowed to take care of my family, I finally have the time to do it.

Inside this room, I’m allowed to curse. I’m allowed to be upset. I can be whatever I choose.

“Maybe I’m only here to bait Rex.” I hardly believe my own words. I say them anyway. Who’s here to stop me? “After that, that’s it. Out with the trash. It’ll be hilarious, won’t it? What a fucking joke. I’ll end up being the one begging them to stay. They’ll be the ones kicking me out. That’s why Damien and Rome don’t trust me. They know I’ll be out of here soon. God, I’ve been such a fool. Gullible, stupid me, so desperate for affection. I mean nothing to no one. Not really. I’m no one.”

My thumb goes to my tattoo on my cheek.

“No, that’s not true. I’ll always be Blake’s big sister.” A sob. Fuck, I thought I was done with the tears. “He’ll always be my baby brother. Just the two of us. I won’t beg anyone to keep me. When they’ll kick me out, I’ll go with my—”

“Get up.” Damien’s command is a shock to the system. A bite to my flesh.

I didn’t hear the door. Not like he needs it.

The bookshelf.

Fuck. Has he been here for my meltdown? Watched me talking to myself?

Are the others here with him?

“Damien, let me make this easy for you.” If he’s here to tell me I’m right, I’d rather not look him in the eye. “I’ll be here until you’re done with your revenge. I’ll leave right after. It’s fine. I get it.”

“Get. Up.” His harsh demand leaves no room for argument.

The violent energy vibrating from him fills up the whole room. No humor. No games.

“Don’t keep me waiting. I won’t repeat myself, darling.”

It’s his version ofYou’ll be sorry if I do.I hear it.

I gaze up at his reflection in the window, and I see it on his face. Tall and gorgeous and imposing his suit. His thick eyebrows are drawn together. Sapphire eyes glaring at me from behind. The rest of his features are as sharp as they were the first day I met him.

They punctuate the underlying threat of his words.

Refusing him will get me nowhere.

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