Page 16 of Bake the Town Red

Deadly ones.

They’re chosen carefully, my targets. For eleven months, I watch my customers like a snake in the grass. Study their behaviors. Single out the bad ones and stalk them.

The sun hasn’t risen yet when I turn on the oven. I roll up the sleeves of my black knit dress and re-do the bun on the top of my head. Go to the fridge to take out the frosting I made last night.

The fridge, not the freeze dryer. That’s where I’ll keep them.

I stare at it longingly, at the freezers lining the wall of the back-back room. I bought the space behind me once my cupcake business started picking up.

Every October, this space becomes my playground. Today won’t be any different.

The thought of the coming month offers me a shred of comfort. A sense of escapism. It casts a black shade over the pink, jolly space in my heart. Saves me from rotten feelings such as love and hope.

Useless emotions. I kissed those suckers goodbye a long time ago. Without Tyler, I’m pretty sure I’ll never get them back.

There’s no one left. Ian would never tell me everything’s going to be all right again. Tyler’s grandma will never pat my head and call mesweet girl.

Will Tyler ever look at me with his large brown eyes again? While I’m awake?

I don’t know.

I don’t know if affection would ever shine from his gaze when he looks at me. I’m not sure he’ll find it in him to stop being scared and mend the pieces of my broken, crazy heart.

His eyes might never darken again as they’d roam along my body.

These days, when I do see him, he’s hovering at the side of my bed, so focused on my tits that he doesn’t see me peeking, or he’s sleeping. His eyelids won’t let me into the windows of his soul. I break into his apartment, crawl into his bed, and move up his body. Grind on his mouth until I come.

He works hard. Has two jobs. Works out. He’s out like a light by the time I’m on top of him.

Just remembering him turns my knees to jelly. My nipples harden from the memory.

Instead of obsessing over him, I grind my teeth. I get to work, pouring heavy whipping and powdered sugar and vanilla extract into the mixer. I add red and yellow food coloring. For Halloween, duh.

The sound of the electronic devices pacifies me. Takes off the edge.

I get why Tyler’s staying away.

I get it.

I. Get. It.

But he’s the only man I’ve ever loved. Will ever love.

He doesn’t get to leave me.

Tyler Price ismine.

Before I get lost in possessive thoughts about locking Tyler up in my room, I blink a couple of times. Return to the moment. To my job.

No more neglecting my frosting, or it’ll ruin. I have to prepare so many cupcakes. Every second counts when you’re baking. When you count on those cupcakes to support yourself financially.

The scent of vanilla extract wafts into my nose. Those of butter, chocolate, and cinnamon join it quickly. The baking room—the front-back room of Sweet DeNights—is neat and organized. Nothing’s out of place and everything is clean and sparkling. It always is. Nothing in my life will ever be a dirty, filthy mess like it was when Al was my guardian.

Nothing.

Enough of Al. It’s just as bad as reminiscing over Tyler.

My cupcakes. That’s what I want to think about. And my customers, who are expecting my Halloween specials.

---