Page 9 of Unexpectingly Happily Ever After

Morgan and Derek finally broke up, and unbeknownst to me and Brit, Morgan began researching IVF. I finally caught wind to what she was doing about six months later. My suggestion was for her to contact my former boyfriend, David, who now lives with his boyfriend Marco in San Francisco. At one time David suggestedhefather my unborn children, but that’s part of the long story.

It took Morgan a couple years and many rounds of IVF to get pregnant. She’s thanked me countless times for supporting her through the ordeal.

Brit on the other hand…

To give Brit credit, she kept her mouth relatively shut until about six months after Carson was born. And then she resumed the complaining about how we’re too occupied with the kids, have no time for her, need to start focusing on ourselves, etc, etc.

In Brit’s defense, she’s gone through three weddings and three divorces since I got pregnant. I know part of her complaintsstem from the fact that she’s jealous and lonely, and having a really rough time in the relationship department. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

I also keep reminding myself that while Brit is self-absorbed and a bitch, she’s also my oldest friend, and I do love her.

″So,” Brit begins, setting her plate on the table beside her. “You know I’m getting married again.”

″I seem to recall hearing something about that.” Morgan leans over to check if Carson has fallen asleep, but I catch sight of her smirk. The only thing Brit loves more than attention is planning her wedding. I think three weddings and an engagement is proof that she likes the weddings more than the actual marriages.

″Yes, well, I’ve decided what I want to do for my stagette.”

I don’t bother hiding my groan. “Really, Brit? It’s the fourth time. I’m too tired to plan on anything more than a night out at Boston Pizza.”

″Please tell me you don’t go there,” Brit sniffs. “You say you love your kids but you take them there?”

″What’s wrong with Boston Pizza? The fish tacos are really good, and they have these cactus chips that I love.”

″I like the pizza,” Morgan chimes in. “It’s not as good as Cooper’s but nothing really is.”

I wonder how many arguments Morgan has prevented between Brit and me over the years. I might have known Brit longer, but Morgan was my university roommate, which is a different friendship than a high school best friend. Morgan is solid, a good fit for my less than practical side.

I’ve been called flaky, flighty, and a dreamer. Having a practical friend is always good.

I shift the sleeping baby in my arms. “You should try this new pasta Cooper’s put on the menu. It’s to die for!”

″I eat too much pasta, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I’m sure Carson is going to have a wheat intolerance from how much I ate when I was pregnant.”

″I don’t think it works that way because–”

″We’re talking aboutme!”

Carson’s eyes flutter open at the sound of Brit’s shriek, and her grip tightens on my hair.

″Shh,” Morgan and I admonish in unison.

″Sorry,” Brit says, dropping her voice. “But I need to tell you what’s going on so we can book it.”

″You honestly want a fourth bachelorette party? We can just go out for a nice dinner and have a quiet night. Do you really think this is…?” I don’t continue because Brit is looking at me like I’ve sprouted another head. I’m not sure what I want to say anyway. Is it socially acceptable to have a fourth stagette?

Brit wouldn’t give a good goddamn even if that was the case.

″What do you want to do?” I ask with resignation.

″I want to go to Las Vegas,” Brit announces. “And both of you are coming with me.”

Chapter Four

Children’s diets should remain consistent with no new foods introduced until their palates are established, which is around the onset of puberty.

A Young Woman’s Guide to Raising Obedient Children

Dr. Francine Pascal Reid, (1943)

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