Page 85 of Lovers Fate

Which is a step up from being a roach motel. The walls are yellow instead of white. The walls outside hallway are better looking with the graffiti tagged on the walls than this. The kitchen cabinets have seen better days. Light brown with dark trim. The bathtub is aqua in color.

“Jesus. At least you won’t have to do much when you move out. I think moving it out is like renovating the place,” Rose says scrunching her nose when she opens the fridge.

The smell of fish and old food permeate the air. I think the motel not having a fridge wasn’t so bad after all.

I cup my nose with my hand. “That stinks like…really bad.” Then we laugh because there is nothing to do but laugh. The apartment is horrible and the building should be condemned.

“Who lived in this place?” she asks trying to catch her breath.

I shake my head rubbing my show over the cracked linoleum flooring. “Animals.”

“Thank you,” I say softly not knowing why she did it.

She swallows. “For what?”

“You know what, but my question is, why?”

She shuts a cabinet door that doesn’t aligned properly and then another. The only thing between us is the silence and her shutting the cabinets as I wait for her to give me a reason.

“I know,” she finally replies.

I’ve done everything to keep myself busy and not think about the past. Used the excuse to come back here to find answers. Surrounded myself with work. Distracted myself with Draco and believe a story from a fortune teller as a Band-Aid not to feel how shitty my life really is that I can’t even rent my own apartment. Go to school. Get a real job. Be touched by a man with regret in his eyes when he sees me in the morning because of who I am.

“I hope me knowing doesn’t change your mind about you wanting me to be your friend,” she says and for the first time since I was released, a tiny weight lifts from my shoulders.

Needles prick my throat but I swallow them down so I can assure her that there is nothing I want more than for us to be friends.

“I would like that,” I say in a shaky voice and it was at that moment, I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

TWENTY-SEVEN

We siton the Ferris wheel at the fair. Watching kids run around below to get to the next ride. I had to wait for the utilities to be turned on so we ended up here.

“Do we have to work tonight?” Rose whines as the ride takes up for the second time.

I was glad she wanted to go to this side of the carnival. It was like a breath of fresh air getting to spend time with someone who wants to get to know me.

“I know right.” The breeze brushes my hair to the side and then my stomach growls from the smell of corndogs. “God, that smells good.”

“Yeah, want to go get some after the ride?”

“Hell, yes. I’m starving. It’s been years since I had a corndog.” Screams pierce the air and then the sound of distant music from the haunted circus.

“You know that guy who gave you the rose after he rejected you the other night, doesn’t he work at the circus?”

“That’s what they say.” I make sure to leave out how true that rumor is or that he’s given me more than just a rose.

“I thought it was kind of sweet.”

I snort. “How so?”

“It was romantic in a weird sort of way. Like he didn’t want a dance from you not because he didn’t want it but out of respect.”

“What you mean?” I ask confused.

“If he gave you money, then he would’ve been just like every man in there.”

At least in the club, I know what I get. With Draco, there’s no telling what he’s thinking.

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