Page 7 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

“I don’t want to rub Gabe any which way,” she said, trying to sound sure and maybe even a little superior. As though Becca was a silly girl reading into things. And maybe Alex was a bit of a silly girl too.

But Becca only smiled. “Sure you don’t.” Then she disappeared inside.

Monica scowled. Having theoccasionalphysical fantasy because of Gabe’soutwardappearance did not mean she wanted to actually act on it. Technically, Gabe was a potential client. That put him in an off-limits box.

And that was most certainly that.

But she couldn’t deny that his words this morning had affected her, and now she was going to act based on what he said.

Monica pulled her cell out of her coat pocket and walked over to her truck. She turned the ignition, willing the heater to warm quickly. While she shivered in the driver’s seat, she dialed her mother’s phone number.

“Hello?” Mom’s voice answered.

“Hi, Mom.”

“What’s wrong?” Mom demanded.

Monica chuckled. “Nothing bad. Just…I’ve been thinking, about what you and Daddy suggested.”

“Which thing?” Mom asked, with enough humor that Monica smiled.

“Colin coming to visit on his own.” Just saying the words aloud nearly ripped her chest open. But Gabe’s words kept repeating in her head, an endless loop, because she’d thought them herself. She’d talked herself out of them based on her own insecurity and fears.

“Oh, that suggestion. Well.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I am. You shut us down so hard and so fast I didn’t think there was any chance of you thinking about it further.”

“I…” Monica took a deep breath. She’d called Mom to do this thing but also to talk. To verbalize her fears. “Do you think I shelter him too much?”

“You moved him to the middle of Montana to start fifth grade in a school he’s never even heard of, all so you could follow your dream job. I don’t think he’s coddled, sweetheart. And I don’t blame you for doing it. You did the right thing for you, and that’ll be the right thing for him.”

“Daddy doesn’t think so.”

“You know your father. He can be a hard man when he’s made up his mind, but he can also change it. Eventually.”

Monica laughed in spite of her melancholy. Her father had not approved of Dex.Why can’t you marry an army man? What does the air force know? Sometimes, when she was mad at Dex for getting himself killed, those words haunted her.

“You’re a wonderful mother. A wonderful human being,” Mom said in that gentle, sure way that had gotten Monica through so many rough patches. “But you have both been in each other’s pockets pretty much since Colin was born, even when you lived here. Let the boy have some time to be the center of someone else’s attention. Letyourselfhave some time to think only of yourself.”

That soundedhorrible. Why would she want to do that? But if Colin spent a week of winter break with Mom and Dad, Monica would be able to get some Christmas shopping done, some end-of-the-year cleaning, and she’d still work, of course. It would be sensible, and it’d be good for Colin.

So why did it hurt?

“Let us spoil him. Without you.”

“Ouch.”

“Oh, hush. You know I want to see you too, but don’t you remember how much you loved visiting your grandmother by yourself when you were little? What confidence it gave you?”

Those summers had been the highlight of her childhood. They’d moved so much when she’d been growing up that Grandma’s house had been home. It had given her a sense of freedom, a sense of self.

Grandma had been gone for twelve years now, and still the thought of her brought tears of grief to Monica’s eyes. Normally she’d swallow the next words down, but verbalizing them was healthier. Was healing. “I wish she’d met him. I miss her.”

“I know. Me too. Give me and your dad a chance to give Colin what Grandma gave you, huh?”

Monica wiped the tears from her cheeks with her bulky gloves. She looked out the windshield at Revival Ranch spreading out before her, the awe-inspiring mountains in the distance.

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