Page 77 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

It saddened her to think it had probably been beaten out of him, if not literally, then figuratively.

She made sure to look him in the eye even though she was embarrassed by her outburst. She was more grateful than embarrassed, or at least, she’d try to be. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing. Just a little sense to stop the hysteria.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know you’re trying to piss me off now. Please don’t. You did a nice thing. Just say you’re welcome and move on.”

“You’re welcome.”

Then they stood there, looking at each other, like a few too many other moments since they’d been stuck. Thosesparkseveryone had been poking at them over. Because it didn’t matter that her head hurt from crying or that she loved him and that was stupid. When she was with him, breathing the same air as him, she wanted him.

God, how she wanted him. “We still have two days,” she whispered.

He watched her, quietly and stoically for the longest, most horrible minute. “Wouldn’t want to waste it.”

Chapter 20

Gabe woke up the next morning wrapped up in dancing candy cane sheets, a warm woman tangled up with him.

Sadly, they weren’t naked. It was too damn cold for that. Anything that wasn’t covered or wrapped up in the approximately ten blankets they’d put on the couch bed felt like ice. He was pretty sure his nose would never thaw. But underneath the layers of blankets and clothes, there was a warmth he had no interest in leaving.

He tried to shrug the blankets closer to his face without actually unwinding his arms from around Monica, but that didn’t help, and since she was currently laying on top of his arm, he decided to use her instead of the blanket.

He nuzzled into her neck, cold nose against warm, smooth skin, until she shrieked awake. Then she slapped him. Hard.

“Sorry,” he murmured against her neck, trying not to grin against it.

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.”

She sighed but curled closer. “It’sfreezing.”

“I hear that happens when your electricity goes out and it’s below zero. The snow is insulating us somewhat though.”

“Somewhat my butt.” She shivered, wrapping her arms around him more tightly.

He yawned into her hair, his face slowly thawing out. It was nice. Nice not to have to jump up and worry about chores, nice to be lazy and doze. Nice to have someone to wake up to, mumble sleepily to, feel…

He blinked open his eyes, everything inside of him unaccountably stilling at the horrible realization.

This was more than nice—it was like heaven. It was a joy to wake up with someone in bed with him, lack of heat or no. It was a comfort and a bone-deep contentment he’d never, ever,everhad. And it was as temporary as the snow outside.

Heknewhe could go without sex for months, and he also knew he could find sex if he wanted it. There didn’t have to be a lack of that after this was over. And if all else failed, he had his own damn hand. Dry spells happened. He knew how to handle a dry spell.

But he’d never… Well, he’d never had someone to wake up with, someone to cook meals with and just…livewith. Which was what this blizzard had forced him and Monica to do. Now he’d experienced it, and he wanted it. To last. To be real.

It was like waking up in that hospital room all over again. His world changed, leveled, and the people he’d counted on, cared about, taken away.

Alone. He’d be that dark, ugly alone again. The only difference was the lack of physical injuries, and he had the sinking suspicion there’d be plenty of emotional ones to make up for it.

There wasn’t anywhere to go with this realization. He was stuck in this bed, the damage already done, even if he pulled away and started acting like a dick. Whether it was today or two days from now,the endwas a reality that was going to crash down on him. Hard. Painful.

So why not enjoy it for those few more days? What was done was done, and no number of minutes or days would change the awful end result. Why not put it off?

Especially when it was damn cold beyond these blankets. At least there’d be work to do eventually. Here, all he could do was wallow, so he’d enjoy what he had and when he had to go back to not having her…

Well, he was used to that. Having someone and then not. He’d learned early and often that was life.

---