Page 41 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

“That was a different life, Alex. A life that is long gone.” Like so many of the lives he’d lived and lost. So many lives and people who’d been blown out from under him.

“It’s been years since we lost that life. And in those years, we’ve started building new ones. A family. A foundation. You can keep yourself separate from those things because you think that’s what you need to do or whatever it is that keeps you trapped behind this wall. But we are your family. We are here, and we are part of that foundation and that life. No matter what. Forever.”

“So you’re suggesting I sleep with your shrink?” Gabe asked, because the emotion was getting too thick, too hard to fight through, and he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Alex shook his head and shoved away from the bar. “I’m suggesting you think about building instead of protecting. I’m suggesting you reach out instead of push away. I’m suggesting you giveandreceive. And I’m telling you that even if you don’t, even if you’re not ready, we will all be standing here waiting. Loving you and wanting the best for you the whole time.”

Gabe tightened his jaw against not just this moment, but the whole of the day. Something a little too close to tears. It was too big and too much. This kind of emotion did terrible things to people. It made them believe. It made them hope.

But belief and hope always died, at least for him, and he couldn’t let himself fall into the trap of believing it.

* * *

As the crowd began to disperse, Monica insisted Jack and Rose head home. Both argued that they should help clean up as originally planned, but Monica could tell Rose was drooping about as hard as Colin was. Colin could sleep anywhere. The pregnant woman could not.

But it wasn’t until Gabe stepped in, a few well-placed sarcastic quips and that easygoing smile that was such complete and utter crap, that they agreed to be on their way.

So it was just her and him. And Colin trying desperately not to fall asleep on a hay bale decoration where he’d curled up to keep playing his game.

“Um.” She winced at theumconsidering how much time she’d spent working on speaking without hesitations.Umdid not inspire confidence in her patients.

Gabe wasn’t her patient. Colin, Becca, Rose, Hick—this list of people who did not look at her to be their therapist. She could sayum. She could bewrong.

“We left all the stuff in the bunkhouse. I mean, like…clothes. I need to change my…clothes.” She maybecouldbe wrong, but good God, she could at least be coherent.

“So I can expect lots of lacy female stuff all over my man cave?”

It surprised a laugh out of her. “Yeah, we’re quite the lacy female trio. Just give me a few minutes to head over there and change and—”

“You can go home.”

Monica looked around the barn. It wasn’t trashed or anything, but there was plenty to put away. And there was Ron Swanson, munching happily on the flower crown he’d finally managed to get off.

“I can’t leave you with a mess and a goat.”

Gabe grimaced at the animal. “Sometimes I think I like the rooster better. At least he doesn’t have those demon eyes.” But his gaze slid to Colin. “Get him home. I can handle this.”

It didn’t feel right, and she couldn’t help but wonder if this had to do with their conversation earlier. He didn’t want to be around her. He didn’t want to hear about loneliness. He’d ratherrun away, and he’d probably faced men with guns and bombs and stuff.

She was that big of a mess. Yikes.

But she was also not going to run away from herself. She was not a coward, and she was up for the challenge of…something. She wouldn’t find out if she didn’t keep moving.

“How about this? I’ll clean up some of the easy stuff that won’t ruin my dress, and then we’ll head out. That way I didn’t just dump an entire wedding’s mess on you.”

Gabe shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Yes, she would suit herself. She passed Colin, who’d finally fallen asleep and was snoring faintly. She slipped the handheld device out of his hands and stashed it in her bag.

“Impressive, really.”

“He’s always been a good sleeper. Can sleep anywhere. Anytime. My mom used to get so irritated by it.” Monica smiled at the memory. “Apparently,Iwas a terrible baby, and how dare I get such an easy one.”

“You didn’t have anyone’s help. Probably deserved one.”

“I had her for help. And my dad. When I was a baby, even though my dad was alive, he was deployed. Mom lived on the base far away from her family.”

“Doesn’t base life come with a built-in support system?”

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