Page 39 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

“Isn’t it lonely?”

He hardened. “Sometimes it’s better to be lonely.”

“Why?”

“Because people aren’t predictable. Life isn’t. You never know who or what you’ll lose. What will change.”

“Yes, I am intimately acquainted with that. But if I’d embraced lonely, I wouldn’t be here. Not standing up as a friend’s maid of honor. Not laughing at Hick’s corny jokes or giving Rose advice on labor. And you’re no different than me. You’re in the thick of things too. They’re your friends. They’re part of your life.”

His gaze slid to where Becca and Alex were dancing, if one could call it that. It was really more like a swaying tangle at this point.

“For now,” Gabe said, so flat and final, it felt like a crack in her own heart. Where did all that bitterness stem from? That lack oftrustin people? It had to come from something.

And as you said yourself, you’re not his therapist, so maybe it’s none of your business.

Maybe, but she was desperately curious. Desperately fascinated by this man in front of her who had such a hard shell, and yet there were pockets of all this warmth. How good he was with Colin. Gentle with the horses. Kind and honorable in all his actions.

But he fixed that blank, charming smile on his face and looked down at her. “Well, duty’s done. I’m going to go get myself a drink.” He dropped his hand from her back and walked off the dance floor.

Chapter 10

Gabe poured a single shot of whiskey into a plastic cup and sipped. Gabe had been in charge of stocking the self-serve area this afternoon, so it offered one of those rare things he liked. Whiskey.

He wished he had less sense of decorum because that would have been very convenient under almost any other circumstance. But he wasn’t about to get drunk at his best friend’s wedding. He’d just needed an excuse to get off the dance floor.

Monica’s conversation had sounded an awful lot like shrink talk on the surface, but he hadn’t been able to take it like that. Not with the vulnerable warmth in her eyes or the cast of worry to her pretty, red-painted mouth.

It brought up the uncomfortable realization that she was a person, not just a shrink. He’d known that in an abstract sort of way. He was attracted to her after all. It wasn’t like he didn’t understand that she was more than just her job.

But it was a lot nicer to be able to put that between them. Having to look at Monica as though she might be vulnerable, as though she might have concerns and worries just like his…

Flirting with her was one thing when she blushed and stuttered, then got herself together and acted like she was going to take the bait when he had no doubt she never would. That was easy, even fun.

There was nothing fun or easy about that conversation, about giving advice when she seemed to need it. Nothing good would come from reaching out and offering something to her.

She wanted something that would take away the loneliness when what she really needed to understand was that loneliness was a way of life. When you stopped fighting it, that was when a lot more things made sense.

Someone slapped Gabe’s back, and he looked over to find Alex grinning at him.

“You okay there, big guy?” he asked, repeating Gabe’s words from before the ceremony.

Gabe lifted his glass. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You sure ended that dance with Monica awfully quickly. Quick enough she was standing there, staring after you like you’d slapped her.”

“Interesting interpretation,” Gabe replied, offering Alex a plastic cup. Alex took it, then nodded when Gabe held up the whiskey. Gabe poured.

“What’s your interpretation?” Alex asked, turning around to survey the barn around him, leaning back on his elbows.

Gabe felt he had to do the same, so he mirrored Alex’s pose. “Danced with her because the kid asked me to, then decided to get a drink. No quickly. No slap. Just a dance, and then not.”

“Never knew you were so altruistic.”

“Guess you don’t know everything about me.”

Alex sipped his drink thoughtfully. “You know, I’m starting to realize how true that is.” He slid Gabe an all-too-perceptive glance considering the guy had just gotten married and should be wrapped up in his new wife. “And how purposeful.”

Gabe nodded toward Becca. “Don’t you have a wife to pay attention to?”

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