Page 28 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

Alex leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. They hadn’t been Navy SEALs for two years now. But during that time, they’d given Alex a lot of grief for still acting like the leader, and yet sometimes, that was comforting—to watch Alex put on that suit of armor and be prepared to fight for something.

It was not comforting when they were talking about this.

“I’ve never pushed on your family business, and I know you appreciate that, but I have to push now. Afterward, we can get drunk and forget it ever happened, but for a few seconds, we’re going to be straight. I don’t know what your deal is with your family. You’ve made sure never to tell us. And that’s your prerogative. I just know I missed a lot of Christmases at home on purpose, without even really being aware of what I was doing. When my dad died, I realized I’d missed out on all these things. I let something subconscious build and cause me to miss something, and I’ll always regret it. I don’t want you to go through the same thing.”

Gabe leaned back in his chair, trying to put on his best mask of a smile. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t muster it with this lump in his throat or this awful constriction in his chest. He couldn’t smile and brush it off. He couldn’t laugh and say something flippant like, “The difference between you and me, Alex, is that your family gave a shit.”

He had to find a way to end this conversation without making it seem like a bigger deal than it was. Without giving it an emotional weight it didn’t need.

“I don’t need to go home for Christmas. That’s not something I’m going to regret.” He said it decisively, and he didn’t let it show that it nearly cut him in half to say it. Not because it was a lie, but because it was simply the truth.

“Okay, answer me one question and then we’ll move on.”

Gabe looked at Jack with as much blankness and unaffectedness he could manage. He had the sinking suspicion he didn’t fool his friends all.

“Will you not regret it because you think you don’t want to deal with it, or will you not regret it because there’s a mutual break?”

The bitterness was so thick he could barely curve his mouth into a smile. “Trust me, it’s very mutual. They want as little to do with me as I want to do with them. That’s the way it’s been for fifteen years. No deaths will change my mind. I’m exactly where I want to be. And I don’t plan on going anywhere else.”

“Good,” Alex said firmly. “Because we don’t want you going anywhere else. You’re family. Our brother. This is where you belong.”

“Just don’t sleep with my fiancée, please. So far that’s my only experience with brothers.”

The fact Jack could make a joke about his ex-fiancée’s previous infidelity showed just how far the man had come. And Alex sayingbrotherswithout mentioningNavy SEALsshowed just how far he’d come. These men had grown and changed and embraced civilian life. They’d found women who were somehow exactly right for them.

They were leaving Gabe behind.

Gabe raised his glass. “To building your families,” he said. Because that’s what Alex and Jack were doing. That was the thing Gabe was never going to do.

So he downed his glass and got to the very familiar work of getting drunk as a skunk.

* * *

“The fact you own Mall Madness is the greatest damn joy of my life,” Rose said as Monica cleaned up the game. They’d spent something like hours playing board games and getting Becca drunk.

Monica had never been to a bachelorette party—she hadn’t even had one. She’d known Becca wouldn’t appreciate penis paraphernalia, and Becca hadn’t had many friends growing up, so Monica had decided to go for sleepovers and nostalgia.

They’d overdosed on junk food, wine for her and Becca, board games, and lots of laughter, while Colin sulked with the dogs. He was sleeping next to one as Monica finished cleaning the game up.

“You can thank my parents, who saved all my childhood toys, and my son, who had no interest and thus did not destroy them. What’s next?”

“I’m sorry, Becca. I love you, but I’m not playing another round of Monopoly. Mall Madness was awesome, but I’m board-gamed out.” Rose linked her hands over her expanding stomach.

“You’re just mad that you landed on Broadway with the hotel.”

“No, I’m mad that I’m pregnant and can’t get blisteringly drunk while we do this horror show masquerading as a bachelorette party. Where’s the penis talk? We could have had stripperswhileplaying Mall Madness.”

“Rose,” Monica admonished. “My ten-year-old isrightthere.”

“Oh please. He’s out like a light and he should probably know that women talk about penis just as much as men talk about—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Monica hissed as Becca giggled uncontrollably. “I don’t want him knowing what menorwomen talk about.”

“Just so you know, after I get married and then have this baby, we’re having a retroactive bachelorette party for me, where we will actually do things you do at a bachelorette party.Funthings.”

“I thought the future bride was supposed to have a bachelorette partyshethought was fun.”

“Well, drunk Beccaisfun.” Rose moved to face Becca. “All right. Spill some sex stuff.”

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