Page 14 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

“My dad isnota pussy,” she said, sounding far more amused than offended.

Gabe shrugged. “I’m sure he doesn’t think so.”

Monica shook her head. She’d worn her hair down today, which she rarely did. In the firelight, it was tinged red, andseriously, he had to get his ass out of this chair and get a beer.

But he sat. And he watched her.

She cleared her throat, holding the wineglass with both hands, staring hard at the fire in the fireplace. The dogs had disappeared at some point when he’d been cleaning, so it really was just him and Monica.

“I know I don’t owe you any explanation about how I treat my son, but…well, you’re very good with him. He looks up to you. All three of you really, and it’s good for him to have you three as influences in his life. But he seems to be particularly connected toyou.”

Everything in him tensed, chilled. That careful tone of voice, the way she wouldn’t meet his gaze. He knew what came next. He’d been here before, hadn’t he? “And you want me to stay away?”

“No, not at all.” She frowned, her gaze all shock and confusion as it met his. “Why would you think that?”

Gabe looked down at his hands. He hadn’t realized he’d gripped them both into tight fists, but there they were—white knuckled and clenched. He tried to come up with some explanation, but in the end, his scratchy voice just managed some lame excuse. “I’m not his dad.”

“No, but he needs people of all stripes in his life, people who’ll teach him different things and offer him different opportunities. He needs people to look up to becausehefeels a connection. I’ll always be a shade too overprotective. I’ve worked through some of it, but…Dex died…”

He unclenched his fists and placed his hands on the arms of the chair, ready to push out of it. “You don’t have to explain it to me.”

“But I want to. I want you to understand. You’re a part of Colin’s life.” She said it so seriously, sobaldly.None of her usual therapist carefulness in picking the words. He knew better than to look, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

She was staring at him, emotion written all over her face. An earnestness, a hope, and, underneath all that,love—love for her son.

Gabe was somehow rendered speechless by that, and he was never, ever speechless.

“All of you are part of his life,” she continued. “And a part of mine. Dex’s helicopter crash was a preventable accident. Someone hadn’t done the right safety check, and it resulted in the crash. Because someone was careless, an accident killed my husband and my baby’s father.”

She paused, clearly grappling with the pain of that, staring back at the fire. Gabe looked at it, too, because he’d lost friends and brothers—more men than he cared to count. To various things. War and suicide and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Geiger, the other man in their vehicle when it had exploded. That man had sacrificed himself by stepping on that grenade, and somehow, the rest of them had survived.

“I was ready to lose him to war,” Monica continued. “I wasn’t ready to lose him to…cruel happenstance. And that’s manifested itself in some unfortunate ways.”

Ah, there was the therapist. The careful choosing of words.Manifest.Unfortunate.But inthismoment, he couldn’t really blame her. He figured someone who’d lived through that got to use whatever therapy words she wanted.

“So I need some people in my life who will on occasion make me let Colin cut down a tree.”

He didn’t say anything to that. Didn’t want to. But she just kept talking.

“Thank you for today. I don’t think I can adequately express how much I appreciate it.”

It was enough to have Gabe finally pushing himself out of the chair. “Yeah, no problem,” he grumbled, heading straight for his coat. “Have a good night.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Gabe,” she murmured, and somehow those soft words haunted him all the way to the bunkhouse.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, Monica listened to Colin chatter with Becca and Alex. The couple had been up and doing chores since before dawn, yet they sat there and talked happily. Monica couldn’t understand how anyone got up that early and cheerfully worked in this cold, but they seemed perfectly content. Whether it be the comfort of partnership, love for their work, or love for each other, it was sweet to witness.

And eased some of the lingering…discomfort, she supposed. She’d spent half the night tossing and turning, trying to figure out exactlywhather reaction to her conversation with Gabe had been.

She’d wanted to thank him. Not just for the Christmas tree stuff, but for the irritating way he’d coerced her into giving Colin some freedom. She’d wanted to explain that she did need some pushes because her overprotectiveness was rooted in something real.

Then he’d thought she was going to warn him away from Colin. What was that about? The cold fury in his response that he’d blanked in the blink of an eye kept replaying in her head. Then, the way it had disappeared so quickly made her question whether she’d really seen it.

“Monica?”

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