Page 40 of Cowboy SEAL Christmas

Alex looked at Becca, everything in his expression visibly softening. Which proved Gabe’s point. Alex didn’t belong over here quizzing him.

“I do have a wife to pay attention to.” His smile widened. “Wife. Hell, that’s weird.”

“She’s going to have you on the baby wagon so fast your head’ll spin. Once Rose pops that baby out? You’re toast.”

Alex sipped again, and none of that smile left his face. “I’ll probably live.”

“Just wait till you tell the kids you were stepsiblings once.”

Alex only laughed good-naturedly.

Gabe’s gut churned with an awful mix of happiness and something akin to jealousy. Except that wasn’t the right word. He didn’t want Alex’s life. Didn’t want Becca or babies. He didn’t want anything.

So he didn’t know what that hurt was, and he’d be damned if he examined it here and now.

“I didn’t come over here to talk about babies.”

“But when you came over here, I decided to talk about things that made you a little green behind the gills.” Even though Alex wasn’t in the slightest. Still, it sounded good.

“I came over here,” Alex continued as if Gabe hadn’t spoken at all, “because my friend looked a little miserable.”

“You misread me, Alex.”

Alex shrugged philosophically. “Maybe. Maybe I do. But regardless, I came over here to tell you I like Monica a lot. She’s got a nice pragmatism to her that’s hard to find. She’s good with people. You’re so wrapped up in that kid of hers you can barely see straight. There isn’t a reason in the world thatIknow of you shouldn’t be over there dancing with her again.”

“You’re seriously trying to play matchmaker at your own wedding reception?”

“I’m trying to figure out why my best friend looks like he’s miserable at my wedding reception.”

“I’m not. I’m not miserable.” Misery wasn’t the right word. Not that he knew what was. And he didn’t want Alex to think it was misery, so he’d give a little, and then he wouldn’t have to dig into the rest. “I’ve never been so happy to see two people married. Never been so happy to be able to be there for something good and right. We deserve that good. You deserve that good.”

“Deserveis a funny word. I’m not sure we ever get what we deserve out of life. Good or bad.”

Gabe laughed a little bitterly at that. God knew there were people in his family who hadn’t gotten what they’d deserved. He’d been kicked out, forced to abandon everything all for lies. After he’d done everything to fit the part, to give them what they’d wanted. What had it gotten them? He was alone, and they were together.

He downed the remainder of his paltry drink and pushed those thoughts away. His family had no place here. What they deserved or didn’t, it didn’t matter to him because he wasn’t a part of it anyway. He was here. In thisgoodplace.

His gaze found Monica across the room. Colin stood in front of her, and she had her arms around him. She was talking to Hick with that bright smile on her face as though the conversation about being lonely had never happened.

Except ithadhappened, and she’d put to words things that would haunt him for days or weeks.

“Once upon a time, when I was stomping around quite resolute in not getting mixed up with Becca—”

Gabe snorted. “The stomping is incredibly accurate.”

“Jack said something that stuck with me. Changed my mind or my life or some damn thing.”

“And what is this nugget of wisdom?”

“That he cared as much about my future and happiness as I cared about his. That he wanted what wasbestfor me, that you both did.”

“You got your best,” Gabe returned, nodding at Becca. He understood what Alex was getting at, but Gabe was different. He didn’t know how or why. He only knew that no one had ever loved him. Maybe he’d never really loved anyone in return. Maybe he wasn’t capable.

But here was Alex, the man he’d spent the last fifteen years with, through a hell he’d never imagined, even when his home life had felt like hell. Alex Maguire was his brother, if not by blood, then by everything else. Because that’s what fighting a war side by side did to men—turned them into brothers. Gave them the capacity to love someone outside of their family. Outside of their duty.

“If I had any clue what was best, I’d have it. If I had any idea what I was afraid of, I’d fight it,” Gabe said, more baldly than he’d planned.

“We fought a lot of enemies we didn’t know.”

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