Page 72 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

He needed to find some of his own balance though. Not give in to every damn impulse, but maybe not shove them all away either. Admit there were times when it was best for him to be in charge and take the lead, and there were times it was best to… He raked a hand through his hair.

No matter how he tried to get on even ground with her, she always seemed to find the upper hand. Maybe that wasn’t such a terrible thing. Maybe that was balance.

But he still needed a plan. He needed to try to find some of that control. Which meant instead of kisses in parking lots and slightly drunk discussions, they needed something a little more…traditional.

“Instead of a kiss, I have an alternate suggestion,” he managed to say, ordering the ideas into a plan.

“Intriguing. Go on.” She stepped out of Pal’s stall and so he followed.

“I could take you to dinner. Some night that would work around both of our schedules.”

He watched the emotions chase across her face. Confusion, surprise, and then that beautiful bloom of a smile.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Alex reached out and touched her arm, though the bulky coat kept it from being much of a meaningful gesture. But this, this feeling she gave him, it was a thing he wanted—despite his best intentions. And much like the foundation, much like she was doing, he needed to have the balls to go after it. On his terms, anyway. “Yes, I am asking you out on a date. God help me.”

She bit her lip, presumably to keep from grinning. “Okay. Um, well, I’m sure there’s a day neither of us have meal duty, and Hick is always here for cow stuff, and, um, I mean, then we might have to tell them we… We don’t have to, I guess, but, um—”

She killed him. Just…dead. He reached out and put a finger over her lips to keep them from continuing their trip down Stutter Lane. And if he put his hand there, he couldn’t use his mouth. Which was what he wanted to do, but it wouldn’t get their plans made.

“I’ll handle the arrangements.” He let his fingers drop from her lips, because he was a little too tempted to trace their shape.

Maybe with his tongue.

“Right,” she said on something like a squeak. “That makes sense. You should do that.”

“For now, I’m going to go shower today off of me and eat some dinner.”

“Okay, yes. Yeah, I’m heading in. To eat. Dinner.”

He nodded and turned, even though walking away from her was pretty much the last thing he wanted to do right now. She looked fresh and bright and like something he wanted to sink into until everything in his life made sense.

That was not an option. There was a plan. An order to things, and if he kept that order, things could work out in a way that would…well, work out.

He walked toward the stable doors and he wasn’t sure he’d wanted to ignore a plan ever in his life so much as he did right now. He didn’t want order. He didn’t want steps. He wanted her.

And wasn’t that what everyone was always on his case about? Planning too much? Controlling things. Jack and Gabe groaned over his schedules and Becca looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

So why not for once just do something without a plan? Everyone else seemed to. Everyone else wanted him to. So…

He glanced at her, walking next to him. Ranger had bounded ahead and around the house, probably to get in through the dog door out back. Becca had a small, self-satisfied smile on her face.

He wanted some self-satisfied too, so he stopped in front of her and took her by the arms, far too much like he had in that bar parking lot. Her body jerked against his, somehow soft and willing, no matter how strong and unbending she could be.

She looked up at him, those enigmatic, green eyes of hers wide, that all-too-sweet mouth hanging a little open. He shouldn’t want this, want her, but he did, and she wanted him right back—and damn it, he was so tired of fighting everything.

“One of these days I’ll kiss you nicely. But it’s not going to be today.” So he sank into her, just as he’d been telling himself not to do, devouring her mouth until she was breathless and shivering in his arms. He wanted her with an intensity that scared the crap out of him. She broke things inside of him, plans and order, and yet all he wanted was more.

When he finally managed to take his mouth off hers, she looked up at him wide-eyed and breathing heavily.

“For the record,” she said, her voice a shuddery whisper, “you’re welcome to kiss me like that whenever you want.”

He let out a shaky breath of his own. “One of these days, it’ll be a nice kiss.” Because he’d find his control. “One of these days.”

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