Page 71 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Her eyes narrowed a fraction. Not in suspicion or in any emotion he thought he understood. It was a study, and it was… Well, whatever it was, it was Becca. And he didn’t have a hope of making sense out of her.

The strangest part of all that was that he was a man who tried to understand everything. To make sense of the world. To figure everything out so he knew exactly what to do. There was something about the way Becca confused the hell out of him that was weirdly refreshing.

He was probably going a little crazy. It was the lack of sleep. He’d fix that soon enough.

“Apparently people were lining up to tell my mom they saw me at Pioneer Spirit last night.”

“And your mother doesn’t care for bars?”

“Mom doesn’t care for her frail, little daughter to be in the public, where mean, awful people are lurking to ruin her life.”

“Don’t all parents worry like that?”

“Do all parents call up their adult children and lecture them about taking care of themselves? You know how long it’s been since I’ve been sick? Five years. I’ve had a few colds, but nothing that kept me from work. But of course it’s not just that, is it? How dare I be around other people and…” She shook her head and let out a little breath. “I don’t have to dump this on you.”

But she said it as though she would if he gave her the go ahead. Maybe even as though she needed to unload it on someone. If she needed to unload anything on anyone, he had to admit he’d be the first in line. He couldn’t remember a time that the thought of a heart-to-heart hadn’t made him want to run in the opposite direction.

Except with her. “But you can dump it on me.”

She smiled at that. Something sweet and…pretty. So damn pretty even after a day of work with her hair falling out of its braid, even with dirt and dust smudges on her face. There was just something so appealing about her.

“She thinks I’m sheltered. And I am, which I think is what makes it frustrating. I know I don’t know anything about a damn thing, but she made me that way. I have to experience to learn, don’t I? She wants me to be a baby chick in an egg for the rest of my life.”

“Did you tell her that?”

Becca switched from the brush to the sponge and washed Pal down with her eyebrows furrowed. When she spoke, it was into the horse’s neck. “I did. I tried to be very reasonable and honest and…and she told me that I was hurting her, and it sucked. Because…”

“Because you feel like you’re all she has.” He grabbed a sponge from the rack and moved into the stall with her. Pal shifted, but he didn’t shy away.

“I am all she has,” Becca returned, watching him with an eagle eye, as if she didn’t quite trust him to wash her horse. But she didn’t tell him to stop, so he worked on Pal’s opposite side.

“I feel like she wants me to be happy with her being all that I have, and I’m not. Does that make me a bad daughter?”

“You’re asking a guy who joined the navy and barely came home for ten years. I might not be a paragon of what makes a good kid.”

“Burt never complained.”

“He wouldn’t have. The thing is, he didn’t like me going. He would’ve preferred I stayed and ranched and, you know, not been in Afghanistan. But he never said it, and he never made me feel bad about the choices I made. I think that’s because he knew—in a way that’s hard for some people—that I needed to do that thing, whether he liked it or not. So he encouraged me to do it, not because he wanted it, but because I needed it. I don’t think that makes your mom bad, or you a bad daughter, I just think that means my father was pretty exceptional.”

“He was,” Becca returned, having stopped sponging the horse. “I think she’s lonely, and I think she’s sad. But I don’t know the right balance between giving her what she needs and doing what I need. She spent so much time when I was growing up giving me what I needed. I don’t know how to…do it all right.”

“There’s something we were taught in the military. There will be times when you want to do everything, when you want to save everyone, and there will be moments when you can’t. It’s impossible to give everyone what they want, what they need, and especially what they deserve. I think that balance isn’t about being fifty-fifty all the time. It’s about giving and taking. It’s about making the choice that’s best for the moment, and that will change and be different from day to day. Some days you put yourself first, and some days you put your mom first, and worrying about which one is more right will only cause more problems than it ever solves.”

She dropped her sponge in the bucket and stared at him over the horse’s head. He finished his side, then looked right back at her.

Her lips curved, and those green eyes sparkled with a mischief he shouldn’t want to sink into.

“You know, for someone who’s afraid to kiss me, you’re pretty smart.” She batted her eyelashes at him, and damn if he could even manage a frown.

“I’m not afraid of kissing you.”

“Then why don’t you do it again?”

“Are you thinking I won’t?” It was flirting, plain and simple, and he couldn’t help himself. He wanted this and her.

“I’m thinking you won’t, but I’m hoping you will.”

God, and he wanted to. To move around the horse and back her up against the rough stall wall. He wanted to taste her again until it was all that existed.

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