Gabe nodded, then slid out of the booth and went in the direction Alex had disappeared.
Becca looked at Jack, who was sitting across from her with blank eyes and a blank expression.
“So do I just pretend like nothing’s happening?”
“That’s the way we work.”
Ugh. Men. “Will you at least tell me what you think is wrong?”
“I’m not sure. And I’m saying that honestly, not because I don’t want to tell you.”
“I think he’s homesick.”
Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. “But he is home.”
“No, he’s in this new, different Blue Valley. He grew up here, but everything is different now. The people are older. He’s older. His parents are gone, and it’s a different experience. I think it’s a hard one, because you know…” Her heart pinched and her throat closed up a little bit. Because she’d had to go through a similar stage of her grief. When everything she had done reminded her of Burt.
“The thing is, you get to a point when you realize all of these things you knew for so long are never going to happen again. Since he hasn’t been here to sort of see that change and evolve with it, he missed what it was.” She noticed Jack’s expression was hard. “Which you probably think is silly.”
“No. I actually don’t,” he said on a sigh.
“You don’t?” This was the most open Jack had been with her in all the weeks they’d worked together and lived under the same roof.
“There is a reason I didn’t go home after I got released. I have a family and parents. Two little sisters, a brother. Grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. I have all of these people who would be very happy if I came home. But I came here. Which is not a short drive from Elk Grove, Indiana.”
“So…you didn’t go home because you were afraid it would be different?” she asked, wondering when he would cut off her questioning, wondering when he would clam up and turn into silent, stoic Jack again.
“Something like that.”
She could tell he was debating telling her more, so she held her tongue. If she pressed now, she’d get that blank guy she was so used to. But if she let him do it in his own time, she might have a chance to find out a little bit more about him.
“I grew up in a small town. A lot like Blue Valley. Midwestern instead of mountains, and instead of ranches, we had farms. I had a high school sweetheart. She went to college. I joined the navy. We planned to get married. Before my first deployment, I proposed.”
Becca had a bad feeling she knew what was coming, so she kept her mouth shut and tried to keep her expression from reflecting the pity she knew he would hate.
“I kept wanting to get married when I’d get some leave, and she kept pushing it off. Then on my last deployment, I found out she was sleeping with my brother.”
It hurt. That people could be like that. Hurt someone who was already sacrificing so much. Even though she didn’t know Jack all that well, she still hurt for him.
“So I knew going home wouldn’t be the same. It would be nothing. It would be tainted by that. By change. By what they’d done. Now you know my life story. Happy?”
“I’ll have you know, I didn’t prod you to tell you me your life story.”
“No, you just looked at me with those big, green eyes and didn’t say a damn word because you knew I would spill my guts.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.”
He gave one of those bitter laughs and shook his head. “You know the thing I don’t get about you, Becca? You don’t know me, and I haven’t been particularly nice to you. But I know that you mean that, and that you care about people. I don’t get it, but I see it.”
“You have two little sisters. That’s what you said, right?”
He nodded.
“I always wanted siblings. Someone to protect and vice versa. Someone to stand up against my mom with or someone who could help me help her. I always wanted a bigger family. And Burt was the first part of that. I hope you guys will be the next.”
His eyes narrowed, not skeptically, but as if he was assessing her, much like Alex was always doing.
“You think of Alex as your big brother?”