Page 19 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Becca showed Monica out and Alex stood in the living room trying to breathe through whatever the hell was working through him. He felt shaken and his breathing wasn’t even, but surely it was just…hunger. Too much coffee. Why would the woman’s thanks affect him in any way?

He didn’t hear Becca come back inside until she spoke. He very nearly jumped.

“She’s perfect. Admit it.”

“She is perfect for the role,” he agreed, but that discomfort in his gut wouldn’t allow him to leave it at that. “I remain unconvinced we need the role.”

Becca rolled her eyes and began collecting the half-full coffee mugs. Alex ignored the fact that he’d only had a few sips of his.

“What? Are you afraid she’s going to find out you’re not the paragon of mental health you’d like to think you are?”

He tried to refute that, opened his mouth to explain just what his thought process on the matter was, but he couldn’t seem to get those all-important words out.

She glanced at him with too-soft eyes and a cocked head, her expression making him tense. “That’s actually it, isn’t it? You’re afraid she’s going to tell you you’re messed up in the head.”

“Hogwash.”

She snorted. “Hogwash. Who says hogwash? Hick is like eighty and even he doesn’t say that.”

It had been his mother’s favorite word, but he didn’t want to think about that. “Hick says fiddlesticks instead of fuck.”

Again Becca paused her tidying, but this time she smiled at him. Soft, sweet, tempting.

No. Wrong word. Something else.

“Yeah, he does,” she murmured before walking into the kitchen.

Alex watched her disappear. It felt like things were spiraling out of his control, but he needed to stick to what they’d decided last night. Give Becca the space to do this, and reevaluate if it wasn’t working.

And the kid?

Alex pushed the thought of the kid away. He tried to push the thought of an on-site therapist away. Jack, Gabe, and he were fine. They didn’t need to get messed up in worrying about any of that.

They’d been discharged honorably and with all the debriefing required by the Navy SEALs. They were fine.

Let Becca worry about the therapist. She hadn’t needed his help in the interview, so things were great. He needed to focus on the cattle. His plans for teaching Gabe and Jack—and the men who would come—how to be cattle ranchers.

Admittedly, back in the hospital in Texas, he’d thought ranching would be like riding a bike. He’d get back and remember all the different aspects to it, but everything was proving to be a bit more difficult than he’d imagined.

Which meant he needed to go have a good couple hours’ conversation with Hick and really settle himself in for what his end of the bargain would require.

Some therapist thanking him for his service…or all the ways he hadn’t done his job…weren’t worth a second thought. He was fine.

No one was going to convince him otherwise.

* * *

Becca rode her horse through the north pasture. It wasn’t part of any of her chores for the day, but as the sun set on this beautiful spring afternoon, she’d wanted some alone time. Time to breathe. Some time to ride in the cool but vibrant air.

She was going to have to explain to the guys that her mother was coming for dinner tomorrow. She was going to have to warn them about the way her mom would fuss and say all sorts of things that would make everyone uncomfortable.

Becca could ask Mom not to go on and on about how the men needed to take care of Becca. She could beg her mother not to badger them with directives on how Becca needed someone to make sure she was healthy and safe, but if Becca told her not to do it, she was almost certain Mom would do it all the more.

It was going to suck, but Becca couldn’t dwell on that. She was still just happy her mom had given her some independence by moving off the ranch. Something Becca couldn’t have dreamed possible in the direct aftermath of Burt’s death.

Becca drew her horse to a stop at the top of a swell of land and looked out over the mountains in the distance. It was the most beautiful sight in the world. Awe inspiring. Every time she looked out at those mountains, she knew she had a place here. Felt it deep in her bones and her soul. She belonged to this ranch and she was doing some good with it.

Moments like this filled her with a renewed sense of purpose. Every time she’d gotten so worried about Alex and his friends coming that she’d been ready to call him up and call it off, she’d ridden out here and found her strength again. Her courage.

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