Page 120 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

People he’d given his love to but he hadn’t exactly opened to receiving. No, he’d run away from that. “I need to go.”

“Well, whenever you’re ready to make another appointment, you let me know.”

Even in the midst of all this feeling, that rankled. “Was that what this was? An appointment?”

“It was whatever you want it to be.”

Whatever he wanted it to be.

He wanted it to be a start.

* * *

It was raining. Becca watched it pour in sheets against the window, a worried frown frozen on her face. She knew Jack and Gabe were worried too, but they were dealing with it by drinking and playing cards at the kitchen table while the dogs snoozed underneath.

Becca hadn’t been able to stomach it. Maybe if it hadn’t been storming she could have pretended like she didn’t care if he didn’t come home. She wouldn’t even be remotely tempted to call Monica and see if he was there and safe.

“I’m going to go check on the horses,” she called in a rush, and was sure neither Jack nor Gabe believed her.

“You know he was a Navy SEAL, right?” Gabe called. “Pretty sure he can survive a thunderstorm.”

She wasn’t so certain Alex could survive anything right now. She wasn’t going to go looking for him though. She was just going to…check on the horses. Like she said.

She went over to the line of boots and shoved hers on, pulled on a coat, and flicked the hood up. She sloshed through the mud and rain toward the stables. The air was cool, the rain itself colder, but the heat of the day lingered enough to make it bearable.

The animals were still her refuge, and maybe if she talked to them, she could figure out how to cope with all this hope inside of her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t quash it. She loved him, and she wanted him to be happy and smile again and…

Ugh.

She made it to the stable and pulled open the door, practically stumbling inside. Alex looked up from where he was standing next to Pal. He gave the horse an absent pat and then stepped out of the stall.

“Everything all right?” he asked in that awful empty tone he’d been using all week.

She bit back the Where have you been? I’ve been worried half to death. “That was going to be my line for you.”

“You’re soaked.”

“Yes. It’s raining quite hard.”

He blinked, looked out the door behind her, and then he started walking into it. Without another word, just stepped out into the downpour.

“Alex, what are you doing?”

Because he wasn’t walking back to the house, he was just standing there. Face upturned to the sky, getting absolutely soaked. She stayed inside the building, though stray drops of rain blew into the doorway where she was standing.

“I’d say I finally found some perfect timing.” He turned to face her, eyes locking on hers even through the rain. “Remember when I said no rain-soaked speeches?”

Becca swallowed, her heart tripping over itself. “Yeah.”

“Maybe I lied. Maybe I lied about a lot of things. Lies are cowardly. I always thought that, but it’s funny when you can lie enough to yourself that you’re downright convinced you’re not telling any lies at all.”

She stepped forward. As much as she wanted him to keep talking, they couldn’t have a real conversation in the rain. “Let’s go inside.”

“No. You deserve rain-soaked speeches and far better than me.”

She took another step toward him in the squelching mud. “We deserve each other. There’s nothing better than that. What could be better than the man I love?” Because she wasn’t going to shout nonsense at him over the rain. If he wanted to talk, they would get straight to the heart of the matter.

Rain poured down his face, but he didn’t blink. “You don’t still love me,” he said, something like flat certainty in his voice.

---