“She said she loved me,” Alex offered, because even now he wasn’t sure he could wrap his head around that. That she’d looked him in the eye and said she’d loved him.
“No shit, Sherlock, and even two bitter ex-SEALs aren’t stupid enough to think you don’t love her right back.”
“You told Monica I was going to…”
“Becca just asked her to be there. You make the choice if you go, if you talk.”
“Becca…” Something bitter and sharp poked at him. “So you three sat around and concocted this intervention. Forced my hand and—”
Jack and Gabe let him go. They stepped toward their horses. “We went to Becca. We asked her to set it up with Monica.”
“And she jumped at the chance?”
Gabe and Jack exchanged a look. Alex glared at Jack then Gabe when they didn’t answer. “Well?”
“She told us not to hold our breath,” Gabe offered, raising his eyebrows in challenge. “She said you made your choice and she doesn’t think you’ll ever change it.”
It didn’t hurt. Why would it? He had made his choice, and she had made hers. She couldn’t give him time to fix things. That was her deal, not his.
“We want the Alex we know and love back, not this shadow,” Gabe said, softer now. “Whether Becca says it or not, that’s what she wants too.”
“But the next step is up to you. Not us. We just had to try and help. That’s all we ever wanted to do. Not fix it for you. Not take away your control. Just lend a hand, a shoulder, help.”
“Take it, Alex.”
He didn’t say anything, and Gabe and Jack both shook their heads, Jack muttering something about Becca being right.
Fuck it. He’d prove them all wrong. He’d go right over to Monica and prove to them all some therapist could not fix what was wrong with him.
He angrily flung open the gate, led his horse through, and then got on. And then he rode, hard and fast and without a whole lot of thought to safety. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance as the sky darkened around him, and all he could think was he wanted to ride like this until he was far away.
He wanted to run until he had control again. He wanted to be far away from Blue Valley, where time always seemed to slip through his fingertips.
He was panting when he reached the old Shaw cabin Monica was renting. What was he doing here? He could handle this himself. It would happen. He just needed more time. He stood and stared at the house, trying to talk himself out of this whole thing.
But he thought of taking a swing at Gabe and Jack and falling flat on his face and…
Maybe he couldn’t fix a damn thing. He didn’t think Monica could either…but he was here, wasn’t he? Becca thought he’d made a choice, and standing here, he could only think about all those times she’d stood up to him or the guys despite her nerves and her insecurities. She’d stood up to her mother.
And what she’d never once done was run away like he wanted to.
Whatever epiphany he’d been working toward with that was cut short when the front door opened. Monica smiled at him.
He hated shrink smiles.
“Why don’t you come in? If you decide not to talk, that’s fine, but you’re giving me the creeps standing in my yard, doing nothing.”
He felt compelled to move forward at that. “Sorry,” he offered.
She gestured him inside and he paused at the threshold. “I’m not here to talk. I’m here to prove a point.”
Her smile didn’t falter, though it changed. “Sounds about right. Want anything to drink?”
“No.”
“Want to have a seat?”
“No.”