Page 102 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Alex didn’t say anything. He wasn’t having this conversation. He wasn’t…

“You want me to pretend that didn’t happen?” Jack asked incredulously, not taking the fucking hint. “You want me to ignore you’re having some sort of waking whatever?”

“Yeah. Because it was nothing. I’ll fix it.” And he would. He would keep making adjustments until this didn’t happen anymore. If all of his adjustments so far hadn’t worked, he’d adjust again until he found the trick. He just needed time to accomplish something, and it would be okay. He would make it okay. Because there were no other options here. He could live with it, or he could make it okay.

What else was there to do?

“Okay, it was nothing. You’ll fix it. So you’re going to tell Becca about it, right?”

Alex tried to stay relaxed or get relaxed. This was not a big deal, and he wouldn’t let Jack turn it into one. But if he was going to maintain that there was nothing amiss here, then he had to remain calm himself.

“Why would I tell Becca anything?”

“Because you two morons are ridiculously happy and damn near inseparable outside of work hours. I don’t want her to be surprised if you accidentally go after her because you’re having some episode.”

“Not happening.”

“Why? Because you will it so?” Jack demanded.

Alex breathed through the anger rioting around inside of him. Jack was just being cautious. And protective. Which was good. It was good they would be protective of each other. Even if it was fucking annoying. “No, it’s because she’s not going to sneak up on me in the middle of the bunkhouse.”

“I did not sneak. It’s the middle of the day.”

“Go find something useful to do and stop bugging me while I’ve still got an ounce of patience left.”

“I’m going to tell her.”

Alex had to fight his initial reaction, which was to punch Jack in the face and tell him this was none of his fucking business. But he was rational. He was calm. He was right. “I don’t sleep with her.”

Jack snorted. “Yeah, you two disappear behind closed doors to play Yahtzee.”

“No, I mean I don’t sleep with her. I’m not putting Becca in any kind of danger. Okay? You don’t need to tell her, because it’s not a factor. I don’t sleep around her.”

“You don’t think it will be a factor eventually?”

“No, because I’m going to get my shit together before…”

“Before what?”

He didn’t know. Before anything serious happened. Before he…whatever. Fuck if he knew, just before. It didn’t matter because he wasn’t going to let anything hurt her until…just until he figured this all out. And he was going to. He’d been figuring out his own shit for a long damn time, and he’d continue to do so.

“I’m handling it, Jack.”

“By pretending it doesn’t exist?”

“No, by trying to find a way to make it stop. I don’t take this lightly, but I am going to fix it.”

“And if you can’t?”

Alex didn’t like to lie. In fact, he thought it was damn cowardly to lie. But if he didn’t get away from Jack soon, he was going to throw a punch.

Because he’s right on the money?

Alex pushed that thought away without hesitation. “Look, that shrink will be here soon enough. Becca’s mom found a place for her, so a few weeks, tops. If I actually do something that makes me think I would be a hazard to someone, I’ll talk to her.”

“You willing to promise that?”

Alex had to clench and unclench his fist to keep himself calm. He couldn’t promise something and go back on it. Maybe he could fib a little, but he couldn’t straight-out break a vow.

---