“As long as you wear those goat pajamas, how can I resist?”
She laughed and opened the door to her bedroom. It was dim, but she must have left her bathroom light on because a little light shone from the door. Her room reflected her exactly. Nothing frilly or fancy, and yet there was a definite feminine quality to it. Cluttered and colorful.
“Oh, I did forget to mention one thing.”
“What’s that?” he asked, stepping in and closing the door behind him.
“Hannibal gets pretty mad if I don’t let him sleep with me.”
“God help me, who is Hannibal?”
She gestured toward the corner, and in the dark, he could make out the gleam of a cat’s eyes. “He doesn’t leave my room much. Hates people, dogs, and everything. Except me, I guess.”
“Honestly, a cat is much better than any other possibility I thought of.”
“What possibilities did you think of?”
“You have a goat you call Ron Swanson, a rooster named Rasputin, and you talk to the horses like they’re people. I’m just glad it wasn’t like a rabbit or a badger or something.”
“A badger. Badgers aren’t very good house pets, but then again, you never know. Different animals can have different personalities.”
He stripped off his coat and flipped on the light. “Now, to talk of far more important things. Before you can get into those goat pajamas, I need to get you naked.” He grinned and she grinned right back.
He pushed aside the uncomfortable realization he couldn’t remember ever being this happy as she began to strip off her clothes. Because what did it matter if he’d never been this happy as long as he enjoyed it while it was here? As long as Becca was in his sight, he was going to hold on to that happiness.
The doubts would have to wait.
* * *
Becca woke with a start, not sure what had jerked her out of the deep sleep she’d fallen into. Alex was still there, and she was curled up next to him.
She didn’t feel Hannibal at her feet, so maybe he’d squirmed out of bed and that had woken her up.
The bed shook though. She blinked, trying to understand why the bed was moving. It felt like an earthquake, and then she realized it wasn’t just the bed. It was Alex himself.
She gave his shoulder a little nudge, hoping to wake him up. He was shaking violently and he had one arm extended straight above him, as if pointing at the ceiling.
Clearly he was having a nightmare and Becca had to swallow down the emotion that assailed her. It broke her heart that he was plagued this way. Worse, that he didn’t want to admit it or deal with it. He just thought he had to live with it.
Maybe he did. What did she know about it? She’d never been through anything like what Alex had not just experienced, but seen routinely.
He murmured something she couldn’t make out, and she gave him another little nudge, harder this time.
“Alex. You’re dreaming.”
He rolled out of bed and she gasped and reached out for him, but he didn’t land in a heap as she’d expected. He landed in a crouch, looking around the room, his breathing heavy and uneven. In the dark, she couldn’t tell if his eyes were opened or closed, but he stood there in a ready-to-fight position.
Becca’s heart hammered. She didn’t know what to do to help him. How to comfort or soothe him. How to make him feel safe. She blinked at the tears in her eyes and tried to focus on finding some courage. After all, if spending the night was something she wanted to have happen again—which it was—she had to find a way to deal with this.
So will he.
She pushed the thought away for now. Once she got him awake and calm, they could talk about what he needed to do, but for right now, she needed to make him feel safe. She scooted to the edge of the bed.
“Alex. Wake up. You’re home. In Montana. You’re here and safe. Nothing bad can happen here.”
Still he crouched, and still he shook. A tear slipped down Becca’s cheek because she didn’t want him to have to deal with this. It seemed wrong and cruel, after all he’d gone through as a SEAL, to have to still experience things in dreams.
“Alex.” She slid off the bed and inched closer to him. “It’s Becca. You need to wake up.”