Page 84 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Chapter 20

Alex had known tonight would surprise him no matter what happened. There wasn’t anything about Becca that wasn’t surprising. He’d been ready to be surprised and was enjoying it so completely and utterly and deeply.

The way she felt perfect curled up with him in the bed of a truck with a beautiful Montana night stretched above them was one.

The condom thing? That was something more than a surprise. It was a shock, and if he was being completely honest with himself, he was damn scared of her suggestion.

“You want to have sex in the freezing cold? Here? Now? In the back of a truck?” God help him, she probably did.

“I can’t think of a better setting, can you?”

“Yes. A bed. In a room with heat.”

“You’re plenty warm,” she said, flirtation and innuendo dripping from her mouth all practiced and smooth, her warm, small, rough hand still pressed to his stomach. She was beginning to make him feel like the innocent.

Her hand slid up, over his chest. Suggestive touches and brushes and tracing. Yeah, he was plenty warm. And hard. But he also knew she’d never done this before and it seemed wrong and irresponsible to do it in the back of a truck. Even if the scenery was beautiful and the woman was willing. More than.

“I mean we could always go back to the house,” she said, her fingers still tracing swirling patterns under his shirt. “But Jack and Gabe being there is a…thing. I’m not sure I like the idea of sharing the same house with multiple people the first time I do this.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t do it.” Even as all of the images and possibilities assaulted him. He already knew she was soft and something akin to heaven. The way she touched and kissed—fearlessly—it was like a drug. He had to resist this. It was a test. Of will.

“But I want to do it. Don’t you?”

Oh, she was the queen of complicated questions that didn’t have easy answers. Did he want to? Absolutely. Was it right? That’s where things got dicey.

Her fingertips traveled down the center of his chest and stomach, but this time they didn’t dance back up. No, this time, they ventured to his belt.

“Becca.”

“Obviously, I haven’t done this before, but based on what I’ve gleaned from movies and books and the internet, men seem to be very big fans of the sex thing.”

“I’m not saying I don’t want to have sex with you,” he ground out, trying to recite all the reasons he was supposed to resist. Mostly his brain was static. “But…” But something. Something important, he was almost sure.

She let out a hefty sigh against his neck. “But you’re overly responsible and worried about my well-being, I’m gathering. Which might be sweet except, you know, I’d like someone to trust me to make my own choices. I was hoping that would be you.”

“I hate that…” He didn’t know what to say. There was so much to say and so much he didn’t want to tell her. Including that he hadn’t done this himself in a while. Sure, there was a certain “like riding a bike” nature to the whole thing, but this was different.

This was not hooking up with a woman. This was not meeting someone at a bar or knowing he was only in town for a week or a month.

This was Becca. She was special. This would be important. To both of them. And that was intimidating and…

“On the off chance this is more than just you wanting to protect me, you need to tell me that. Because if it’s just you wanting to keep me safe or be responsible or whatever, I’m going to take hideous advantage of you.”

He barked a laugh because it never failed—she made him laugh. She was funny and so insightful sometimes when he’d really rather her not be.

“I wasn’t expecting this and I am a…planner.”

“You’re anal.”

“I’m a planner,” he returned firmly. “I like to work things out and know what’s coming and be sure. If the question is am I attracted to you, then obviously the answer’s yes, though it’s more than that. I like you. I do.”

“But?” she prompted, irritation simmering in her voice.

He couldn’t see her in the dark, just the moon and starlight glinting off her face. A few of her features, the sharp, upended nose, the downward curve of her lips. Damn, how he wanted to lose himself in her.

Wasn’t that all that mattered these days? He didn’t have missions anymore. No codes or rules or regulations. Sure, he had a foundation to start and there were certain things he wanted to accomplish before he died, but that was pretty much it. A goal. Long term. There was no chance of being deployed. There was only his life, any way he chose to live it. There was only him, any way he chose to be.

So instead of finishing her “but,” he lowered his mouth to hers. He kissed her slowly and softly, just lips at first before gently gliding his tongue across the seam of her mouth. She opened, not just her mouth, but her whole body. Pulling him in until they were a tangle of limbs and mouths and tongues. There was so much fabric between them and yet they seemed to spark enough body heat to warm the entire pasture.

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