Page 77 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

Chapter 18

Becca studied herself in the mirror for approximately the millionth time. How was she supposed to know what to wear on a date? Alex had said he was taking her to a restaurant in Bozeman.

As if that gave her any clue. Nicer than jeans and a T-shirt, but, well, not the dress she’d worn to Burt’s funeral. But she didn’t have a lot of in-between clothes. She didn’t exist in an in-between world.

Eventually, she’d decided on a summery dress she’d bought on a whim three years ago, a sweater to go over, leggings to go under, and nice boots her mother had given her for Christmas. She’d curled her hair and put on makeup and she felt…

Well, like a fraud. And silly for putting so much effort into it. She didn’t know what kind of effort he was putting into it. Dinner in Bozeman was vague, but it was a step above a booth at Georgia’s. But where in Bozeman? What kind of date guy was Alex?

She didn’t have a clue. She knew where he’d been stationed in the navy, and she knew different things about his childhood that Burt had told her. She knew about his accident and his neat-freak ways, but hell if she knew anything about the man as a romantic-date-type person.

Except kissing. She knew how he kissed. She grinned at that. Good. Excellent. Brain melting. Couldn’t they just kiss all night?

Which was the answer to her current dilemma. Well, sort of. Because even with no kissing, when she looked at him, she rarely felt nervous. She never felt overwhelmed or scared. Sometimes he could make her heart pound like no one else, and she might stutter in the aftermath of all those little surprises he could evoke. But it wasn’t this all-encompassing, shaky, nervy fear.

Maybe it stood to reason that if she didn’t know how to act when he wasn’t here, once she went downstairs and saw him, she’d be fine. She’d know what to say and how to feel. Maybe it wouldn’t freak her out the way she was currently freaking out.

She looked at herself once more in the mirror. She felt a million different kinds of foolish, but she was also really, really, really excited. Her first date was with this good guy. Who knew she was not what anyone would call experienced, and not only didn’t care, but who was also really sweet about it. He was the kind of guy who’d care that she was comfortable or nervous or whatever.

Alex was thoughtful, and this was going to go well. What was the worst that could happen? Something awkward? She could survive some awkward. She was intimately acquainted with awkward.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Grow a pair,” she muttered at her reflection. She had initiated almost everything that had happened between her and Alex, after all.

She forced herself out of her bathroom and into the hallway. She brushed her hands down the front of her dress and wondered for the millionth time if she looked too…something. Trying too hard, being too silly, whatever.

But it was too late now. Too late, so she had to bite the bullet. She had to dive in, make some mistakes, maybe feel a little stupid, but live. Experience.

She walked down the stairs far slower than she normally did. It was hard to take a deep breath. It kept getting caught somewhere halfway in her lungs. Her heart was beating too fast and everything was too much. But that was good too. A new experience. Surviving the anxiety and the nerves and all of that.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, all three guys were in the living room. Which obviously made her all the more nervous. It wasn’t just Alex. She had to worry about Gabe and Jack’s judgment too.

Except theirs didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was going on a date with a decent guy.

The decent guy in question’s mouth was in that grim line while Gabe and Jack both looked inordinately pleased with themselves. So they were probably giving Alex crap for this whole thing. Which made her feel a little bad. That she was the cause of him being made fun of.

But they turned to face her, nearly in tandem, and they were all three just standing there staring at her in that open-mouthed-shock kind of way like she was…

The other night before the bar, it had made her feel like she’d done something wrong, but she was starting to realize that maybe that wasn’t it at all. Maybe they actually thought she was…attractive. That they were surprised to see her dressed up or with curly hair or makeup or whatever. And that they liked what they saw.

Which would be different than what she usually saw—a mousy little girl who didn’t know what the hell she was doing. Or getting herself into. But was doing it anyway.

“Hi,” she forced herself to say when they were all just standing there staring at her.

“Hi,” they chorused together.

“So am I going on a date with all three of you or…?” She smiled at herself, because that was the thing about them. They brought out this person who wasn’t afraid. She still didn’t know what she was doing, but the nerves didn’t hammer quite so hard. She had full use of her voice and her humor.

“Is that on the table?” Gabe asked with a grin.

Alex elbowed him in the stomach. Hard, by the looks of it, as Gabe doubled over with an oof.

“Go find something to do,” Alex said in that military-commander voice he had. One that brooked no argument.

“I want you two back by ten,” Jack said in a mock deep voice. “I’m a very strict curfew parent.”

“Fuck off and get the hell out of here, Jack.”

Gabe and Jack laughed, and even though Alex scowled after them, she thought maybe…if she wasn’t totally reading everything wrong, he kind of liked or appreciated that they were…

---