Page 63 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

“Not when it’s this complicated.”

She did that thing where she cocked her head and stared at him as though he were some strange specimen she didn’t understand. What was there to understand? Nothing about him would make sense when she was sweet and young and innocent as all get-out.

And she kisses like a fucking miracle.

He scratched his hands through his hair in frustration. He had to find his center. The thing that led him through every moment of his life, knowing what was next. Enduring. Surviving. Excelling. He had to channel it and use it. To nip this very dangerous, complicated, unwanted situation in the bud.

“You’ve been sheltered and you want experiences,” he began, hoping he sounded like a teacher or an officer. Someone mature and in charge instead of a floundering asshole. “It’s natural that you might fixate on me. But—”

“No. No, no, no. Don’t ruin it.”

“Ruin what?”

She patted him on the chest, then sauntered past him, back toward the bar. “My first kiss,” she shot over her shoulder.

He stared after her, just another painful thing in a long line of painful things clutching at his chest. He’d known she was sheltered and innocent, of course. She’d made that abundantly clear. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d said she was a virgin.

But first kiss? With him? In a cold-as-fuck parking lot? And she was smiling and sauntering away like that was a good thing. Something she wanted, something she didn’t want him to ruin.

But this wasn’t first-kiss material. It hadn’t been sweet or someplace nice or after a charming dinner. It was in a crappy bar parking lot and…

He wanted to ignore the truth, wanted to deny it all, but it didn’t matter where they’d been. It didn’t even matter all the ways it was wrong and complicated and shouldn’t have happened.

It was a damn fine kiss. Chemistry. Sparks. Like he’d never felt before. Something a little raw. Something bright and promising and so full of sweetness and hope, like a sunrise over the mountains.

Which was a fanciful enough thought to have him rolling his eyes at himself. Clearly they needed to go home. Needed to go back to the ranch and find some…sense. Rationality.

But first, he had to get rid of this erection.

* * *

Becca returned to the bar. Gabe was back, and he and Jack were laughing over something. She thought briefly about ordering a few more drinks and downing them in quick succession, but she didn’t want to lose this feeling ricocheting through her.

She wanted to roll around in it. Revel in it. Attraction and want and lust. Even the frustration that went with it. It was so…amazing. All this feeling rushing around in her at once. To feel jittery and bubbly and hot and bothered and all of those other adjectives she’d never fully understood before. They jostled for space in her chest and in her stomach, and it was…absolutely perfect.

“You look awfully pleased with yourself. What have you been up to?”

Becca smiled brightly at Jack. “Just some fresh air.”

He narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing her, but she wondered if he would even begin to guess what had transpired in the parking lot. That Captain America had lowered his morals so far as to kiss her.

Not just a little peck either. No, that was a kiss. A grade A obliterate-common-sense kiss. She wanted so much more than that from him. But for tonight, she was willing to dwell in that one first experience.

She wasn’t going to let him ruin it, no matter what he said. She was going to cherish that moment forever. He couldn’t take it away.

“So, you’re all too happy and Alex just walked through the door like he’s about to kill someone. What do you make of that, Jack?” Gabe asked leisurely.

Gabe and Jack exchanged glances, but all Becca could do was grin as Alex approached.

She actually didn’t think he looked angry. He looked stormy. Confused. Okay, a little angry, but not solely that. There was a lot of mixed up in that look, and she was glad for it. Glad that she could mix him up. Because if she affected him, it meant…it meant this whole thing meant something. It meant it was not just okay that she was pushing, not just that she was standing up for herself, but that she was right in everything. She was right that this was exactly what she needed to be doing right now.

“All right, bus is leaving,” Alex said, his voice low and gravelly and daring anyone to argue.

Apparently Gabe was willing to take the dare. “Still early, warden.”

“You’re welcome to stay and see if that waitress will give you a ride home, but I’m leaving. Anyone who wants to get back to the ranch tonight better get their ass in Becca’s truck.”

Feeling emboldened both by the kiss and probably at least a little by the alcohol in her brain, Becca slid right against Alex as she passed. She gave him a look that she hoped was flirtatious and not just giddy. “Yes, sir.”

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