Page 38 of Cowboy SEAL Homecoming

So whatever Gabe had said to hurt Becca’s feelings, it had been in defense of Alex himself. Christ, this was getting complicated.

“We’re all in this together,” he said, using his best officer’s tone, no matter how tired he felt. “I don’t have a problem with you setting Becca straight, but she… Come on, man. She’s sheltered and naive. You don’t have to go at her like a soldier.”

“Not your call.”

It took every ounce of control Alex had honed as a Navy SEAL to keep from shouting at Gabe. To keep from saying it damn well was his call if his men were making an innocent woman cry.

He might not agree with Becca nosing around, telling Gabe things, but he’d learned a lesson—keep his shit together and in his room, and things would be fine. They would be fine.

“It doesn’t serve any purpose for all of us to be at odds,” Alex said as calmly as he could manage. Both Gabe and Jack snorted and grumbled in a way they never would have if they were still deployed.

But they weren’t deployed anymore. They weren’t active SEALs anymore. They were…here for a reason and a purpose, damn it, and Gabe’s surprisingly hard-ass line with Becca and Jack’s consistent bad attitude was not going to get in the way of that. Alex wouldn’t allow it.

“She may have crossed a line, but we have a purpose here. Maybe it takes a little while for Becca to understand we’ve got our own shit under control. Losing it on her doesn’t help your case.”

“My case? My case?” Gabe laughed, but it was bitter, one of those rare flashes of the temper Gabe kept buried very deep. “I wasn’t helping anyone’s case, least of all my own. You stand there and insist to everyone, including yourself, that you’re fine. Everything is great and we’re not scarred and fucking damaged. I told her to mind her business. I didn’t tell her we were fine, because I’m not a liar.”

“I am fi—”

Gabe stepped forward, jaw clenched, dark eyes glittering with something Alex didn’t want to identify. “We’re not fine, Alex. You want to pretend. And you…you want to be pissed about it,” he said, flinging his arm toward Jack. “But I know I am not okay, and I know I never will be, so I don’t see much point in denying it. It just is. We’re not going to fix shit here. Geiger is dead. We don’t fix that. All this does is give us something to do so we don’t turn into nothing.”

Alex had arguments for that, but he couldn’t seem to get them out of his mouth. He kept opening it, trying to force them out, but his throat was tight and completely uncooperative.

“I like the girl, I do, but I’m not going to pretend like it’s okay when she steps over the line. She might be our partner, but she isn’t a brother. Her blabbing your business to me proves that, and I will not stand by and accept it.”

“You will treat her with some respect. She didn’t do anything not to deserve that.”

Gabe shook his head. “You’re not in charge anymore, Alex. This is civilian life, and you don’t get to throw orders at me. And you’re sure as hell not responsible for any of us—including her. So stop. Just stop.”

Alex swallowed. Stop? What might happen if he did that? Who might get hurt? What lives might be screwed up if he stopped trying to make things right?

“He’s right,” Jack said, his voice quiet and lacking its usual edge. “You’re not the officer anymore. Not the leader. You’ve got to give it up.”

“No, I’m not the leader, but we’re in this together. And there’s nothing to give up. We know exactly what we’re going to do.”

“No, Alex. You know exactly what you’re going to do. I don’t have the first fucking clue what I’m doing here.” Gabe shoved his hands through his hair. “Look, I believe in it. I get it. And I want this. I want to do something that helps guys who’ve been through shit, but I’m not the same as you. This doesn’t always make sense, and I don’t always know exactly where I’m going.”

“And we don’t all need to,” Jack added.

“You have to step back from this idea that you can fix us,” Gabe continued. “That it’s your job to fix us. Us. Quite frankly, maybe you ought to worry about fixing your damn self first.”

Panic was clawing at Alex’s chest and his throat was still tight and everything about this was wrong. Gabe was purposefully poking where it would hurt, and Alex needed to neutralize the situation. He just didn’t know how.

“We’re all here for a reason,” Jack said, grave and hard. “Gabe’s right. You gotta let us do our own shit. But Alex is right too. Becca’s got nothing to do with this. She’s an easy target, and we shouldn’t be hitting it. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been wrong in that department. I think we need to start over there. Make a pact. Whatever shit we’ve got going on, we don’t get her mixed up in it. Agreed?”

It was a sharp pang to realize that if Jack had been afforded a few more years as a SEAL, he would’ve made an excellent officer and leader himself. He could’ve led missions and saved lives, but here they all were.

In the middle of Montana, learning about riding horses and driving cattle. Trying to put together a nonprofit.

And fucking up right and left.

“All right. I’ll ease off.” As much as was reasonable. “And we’ll all agree that Becca is…” There were quite a few words he could think of, but none of them were appropriate for this conversation.

“We’ll think of her like a partner and like a sister. Someone to protect. Right?”

Alex knew he had to agree with Jack’s suggestion. Hell, Becca had been his stepsister for ten years even though he hadn’t really had anything to do with the family for most of that time. But still, he should agree. Why was that just so damn hard?

Gabe laughed, and it wasn’t that bitter angry thing from before. This was the usual cheerful, easygoing Gabe.

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