Page 30 of Bride for Keeps

She stepped back. “I don’t deny this—attraction. We’ve always had that,” she said. Even though her voice was shaky and she was stepping away she seemed so…certain. Strong. “I don’t even deny that we care about each other.”

“What else matters?” he demanded, frustration leaking through.

“I’m not happy, Carter. You’re not happy. We don’t make each other happy.”

“Nothing would have made me happy in the past few months. You don’t know what it’s like to find out your entire world view, self-view,life viewis built on a lie.”

“No, I don’t. But why wasn’tIa part of any of those views?”

It took him a good few seconds to actually feel that blow. To exhale the breath he’d taken as she’d said the words. It was too…true. Lina had said he only cared about himself and she was right. She was truly right. He’d absorbed his father’s news and kept it all to himself, only thought of how it affected him.

He’d kept Sierra out of it, but she was wrong that it meant they should be over. It was one mistake. One wrong way of looking at things. It had been about cushioning the hurt, saving her from the pain. It hadn’t been about not loving her.

So, he had made a mistake, yes, but he could fix it. Somehow.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she said, her voice scratchy as she turned and began walking toward her car. “Your five minutes are up.”

“I love you, Sierra.” Because it was all he had. The simplest truth he knew. He needed it to be enough for her, even knowing it wouldn’t be.

“I love you too,” she replied, pausing at her car door, but Carter knew she wasn’t giving him what he wanted.

“But I don’t want you,” she continued. She got in her car, slammed the door shut, and Carter could only stand there. He didn’t just feel sliced open, he felt as though all his organs were spilling out of him and he was nothing but an empty shell.

But her car didn’t start or move. He had a fleeting moment of hoping she planned to get back out, take the words back, but then he realized she was moving around, punching the steering wheel.

Her car wouldn’t start.

Carter glanced up at the sky, promised himself he’d believe in divine intervention if this worked, and he grinned.

Chapter Eight

She wanted toscream, but Carter had already caught sight of her punching the steering wheel and apparently thought it was quite hilarious based on that grin that skittered through her like light.

Oh, it had been so long since she’d seen him smile, really smile, and it felt like summer in the midst of all this winter. But nothing was hilarious after that kiss. Because no matter how she repeated what she’d told him in her head:

Of course we’re attracted.

Of course we love each other.

That kiss reminded her so much of their first she could hardly shake off the need to run right back to him. She had never, ever expected to fall head over heels for Carter McArthur.DoctorCarter McArthur. She’d always been aware she was a bad girl—not exactly from the wrong side of the tracks, but certainly not from the McArthur side.

She’d never been like Kaitlin. Never tried to be good or responsible. She’d done what she wanted because it had been clear after all the arguing Dad and Luke had done that Dad would find fault either way.

But she’d fallen hard and fast for Carter and ignored that little niggling voice that had always told her she’d never be good enough for him. But it had come back and with a vengeance, hadn’t it? The past few months had been nothing aboutknowingshe wasn’t good enough for him. Not good enough to be confided in. Not good enough to accept comfort from. Not good enough to trust.

Giving in to this now would only repeat the last year on a cycle. Maybe they’d be happy for a bit, but that McArthur world where he and they were the center and she didn’t factor into any of his ‘life views’… It would all come back.

She’d tried the love route, and it hadn’t made either of them happy.

For some reason she thought of Kaitlin and Beckett, who were one of the most demonstratively in love couples she knew. Sierra knew Kaitlin had never planned on falling for their brother’s bad boy of a best friend, and she knew that Kaitlin’s unplanned pregnancy had played a part.

But they so clearly loved each other. What sense did that make?

Carter tapped on the window and she scowled at him.

“Go away.” Childish? Yes, but she’d spent five minutes being very adult and talking about things that hurt like hell and she was done with it.

He motioned for her to open the door. There really wasn’t another choice. She couldn’t freeze in her car for another twenty minutes or however long it would take to find someone free to come pick her up and take her home.

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