Page 65 of So Wrong It Must Be Right

How could he not know that when he lost things, he just built something new and worked even harder? She admired that about him so much. She didn’t know how to tell him that she had to believe, and she had to fight, and she had to be certain in order to do it all. She didn’t know if she could rebuild like he had. She knew Carter could stand up and fight and start over and she . . .

She was so afraid of her inability to do that.

She got ready for the day feeling sick to her stomach and . . . just sad. Sad because he wasn’t going to be showing up at her apartment offering her comfort. Sad because she didn’t know what she felt or what to do. Every time in the past few weeks that she’d gotten a handle on things, life swept it all away. Kicked it out from under her. She couldn’t get her footing. She’d move up the hill and then get knocked back.

It wasn’t fair and she didn’t like it.

In the dark of a fall morning, she drove to Gallagher’s. She parked in the back, but instead of using the employee entrance, she walked around to the front.

She stood on the sidewalk, looking up at the place that had been her home and her life for as long as she could remember. It was . . . just a place. But it was hers. It was in her heart and her bones. She knew that.

But what did it give her?

Lately all it seemed to do was cause her to lose the people she cared about.

She tried to shake away the thought as the sun began to rise over the beautiful brick building that had stood there for a century. No matter how much she loved it, and she did with all of her heart and soul, it was just a building. It wasn’t a friend to commiserate with. It wasn’t a cousin to cry with over family drama. It certainly couldn’t offer a hug when she felt like her world was falling apart. It couldn’t sayI love you.

She didn’t know how to give it up, but she didn’t know how to sacrifice those other things for it either. For the first time in her life, Dinah didn’t know what to do or what to feel when it came to Gallagher’s.

“You’re certainly here early.”

Dinah jumped and screeched, then turned to face her grandmother, who was standing there on the sidewalk, leaning on the cane she rarely let anyone see.

“So are you,” Dinah returned, shaky from surprise and nerves.

“I like to watch the sunrise over what I’ve built.” Grandmother smiled an odd smile Dinah couldn’t read, and took a seat on a little bench where people sat when there was a wait line.

“I see you’re doing the same,” Grandmother said, placing the cane to the side Dinah wasn’t standing on.

“I suppose I am.” Dinah returned her gaze to the building and the pearly pink sky. “Beautiful.”

“It is. My father used to do this too. He would come read his morning paper right on this bench. It’s one of the things about Gallagher’s that I love so much. I can sit where my father sat and do what my father did. I can feel his presence.”

“What about your own mark?”

Grandmother shook her head. “I’ve done a lot for Gallagher’s over the years, and certainly I’m proud of my contributions. But the reason I come here even now is for the memories of the people I love.”

“How surprisingly sentimental of you.”

“Now, don’t be cross. I am sentimental. About this place, about our legacy. The only love that matters is the love of your family. The rest can be sucked away, as you should know by your father’s actions.”

“But he’s my family, and I can’t trust that anymore, can I?” There was a pain there, a swirling, dark one she’d been trying to avoid for a year: Betrayal was one of those injuries that didn’t get to heal, that her determination couldn’t bulldoze over.

It swamped her, in the shadow of Gallagher’s, in the shadow of her grandmother’s words.

“I coddled him too much,” Grandmother said with such certainty. As though that was all it could be. She’d coddled him. He’d turned into an adulterous asshole. “Both of them. I let them think they were kings of the world. Biggest mistake I ever made. I won’t make the same mistake with you. Dinah, you could be everything I was, and more. Women in your generation have more respect, more opportunities. You could make this place something bigger than it is. I never thought it would be possible with my sons, but it’s possible with you.”

“What is it about me that gives you that confidence?” Maybe if she knew, it would fix all this pain and all this uncertainty, and all thislongingfor people who looked at Gallagher’s like a curse or a poison.

“Because you’ve been willing to sacrifice anything and everything for Gallagher’s. Nothing has ever gotten in your way. Your focus is laserlike. You’re not wrapped up in ego like your uncle. You’re not selfish like your father. You always wanted this role, and you know how important it is.”

Her grandmother gave her so few positive words, Dinah couldn’t help but be flattered, knocked flat. Grandmother was sitting there telling her she could be what she’d always wanted to be.

But at what cost?A year ago, the cost would have been nothing, and Dinah would have done everything in her power to grab it, to live up to Grandmother’s words.

But something rang flat today, some cold fissure of fear undercut the pleasure of Grandmother’s praise.

“If I’m that important to Gallagher’s, why are you trying to manipulate my life?”

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