Page 67 of So Wrong It Must Be Right

He tried to think of it in terms of the farm. Maybe someday he’d have to choose between her and the farm. He wouldn’t be able to choose her, but something in his heart was pierced at the thought. It scared him that he could think that maybe hecouldput her above the rest.

He’d left so many pieces of land and pieces of his heart behind, what would be one more, if it meant he could be with her?

He scrubbed his hands through his hair even though they were filthy with compost and dirt. But that thought kepttauntinghim—that he would give up this for her, even though it was the last piece of himself.

But was it? He would always have the years he put into this land. He would always know he’d built this, just as his childhood memories of the farm were always there. His.

Nothing lasted. Nothing stayed forever. Life always went on. If he could have his grandmother back, his mother back, his family here, would he be willing to give this up?

It wasn’t even a question. To have those people he loved back in his life, he would give up anything. He loved Dinah, and even though he hated to admit it, and wished he could be different, he would give up his farm for her.

So, accepting a secret relationship, or accepting that Dinah didn’t love him enough to make the same choice—that would always be too much to bear.

Carter sat back on his heels on the pathway and looked out at all that he had built in the past few years. It filled him with pride and filled him with a sense of accomplishment, but, God, he wanted Dinah here to feel that with him.

Against his will, his gaze drifted to Gallagher’s. It was early. Dinah probably wouldn’t be at work yet, but he could picture her there. In her ridiculous heels and put-together outfits and colorful makeup and the perfectly wavy hair. She made such a picture.

He didn’t know how to live with her knowing he could always be sacrificed for Gallagher’s, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to live without her.

Which didn’t make any damn sense considering he’d lived most of his life without her. But she’d walked in and given him something he’d lost along with all of the other losses in his life. Someone to hold him when the world sucked. Someone who made him laugh. Someone who sat on this porch with him and looked out at all he’d built with the same sense of satisfaction.

Maybe there was someone else out there like her. Someone else who could fill that spot. It was possible, but with the heavy outline of Gallagher’s in the distance, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to fully enjoy life with anyone other than Dinah.

He looked away from Gallagher’s and back at his plants. Regardless of the riot of screwed-up feelings, he still had a farm to tend. Simone had emailed him some of her winter menu ideas, and he had to determine if he could supply her with the necessary produce.

He had half a fleeting thought to give up his partnership with Gallagher’s, if only so he didn’t have to see Dinah, but not only was that cowardly, he would lose something he wanted.

He wasn’t sure he could accept never seeing Dinah again anyway. If they couldn’t work it out, then at least he could see her doing the thing she loved so much.

“You need a radio out here or something.”

Carter didn’t whirl around, mostly because he thought he might be hallucinating.

“Radio, huh?”

“It would break up some of the silence, and then people couldn’t hear you muttering curse words all the way out on the sidewalk.”

Carter listened to the unmistakable sound of high heels clicking against the stone path as she moved closer.

Bracing himself, he slowly got to his feet and turned. Dinah looked as she always looked. Perfectly put together. Beautiful. Sexy as hell.

“I’m not really in the mood to fight,” he said, keeping his hands at his sides by sheer force of will. What he really wanted to do was reach out, touch her, make her promises he couldn’t keep.

“Good. Neither am I.”

“I don’t think there’s anything we can talk about that we won’t fight about.”

“Per usual, you’re wrong.”

“Dinah.” How the hell she made him want to yell and laugh at the same time was beyond him.

She linked her hands in front of her, and after weeks of paying attention, he’d finally realized that was her show of nerves. He softened, against his will.

“I talked to my grandmother this morning. I sat there and watched the sunrise over Gallagher’s and I asked her if she was happy. If she was fulfilled.”

Carter took a deep breath. Though the little sparkle of hope was starting in his chest, he tried not to believe it. She was probably here to try to convince him they should have a secret relationship, and that everything would be fine. She never let anything go, so why would he believe things had changed? She’d come here to badger him until he gave in.

Well, she was damn well going to be disappointed.

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