Page 122 of Never Submit

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to glare at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on. You know exactly what I’m talking about,” I say. “You ditching the Steel Claws to go playhuman for a few years. College, was it? Got yourself a nice little desk job, a human girlfriend. Pretended you weren’t born to run on four legs and rip throats out. Must’ve been real cozy.”

I hear things. People don’t think I do, but I’m always there. Watching. Listening. Absorbing.

Noble’s face tightens, and I know I’ve struck a nerve. “That was years ago,” he says. “And it’s none of your damn business.”

“Oh, it’s absolutely my business,” I shoot back hotly. “You think you can look down on the rest of us like we’re feral, but you’re the one who tried to turn your back on what you are. What happened, huh? Couldn’t hack it as a regular Joe Schmoe? Or did your wolf finally decide to remind you that you don’t get to choose?”

His fists clench at his sides, and for a second I think he’s going to swing at me. I almost hope he does. But instead, he takes a step closer, his voice a growl. His eyes seem lit from the inside.

“You don’t know anything about me,” he says, enunciating every syllable to make sure I don’t miss a thing. “You don’t know why I left, and you sure as hell don’t know why I came back.”

I snort. “Oh, let me guess. Some big,noblereason? Did you finally realize you’re not cut out for the human world? That you’re just as much of a monster as the rest of us?”

He moves so fast I barely have time to react, and he’s on me, shoving me back against a tree. His face is inches from mine, his eyes ablaze with barely controlled fury.

“You don’t get to talk to me about being a monster,” he snarls. “I camebackbecauseyoukilled Kelee.”

I pause as his words sink in. He rejoined his pack becauseIkilled his sister.

Yes, it had been an accident, one I didn’t understand at the time, but it was one I was growing to regret. And that’s an emotion I didn’t think I was capable of way back when, but things are different now… Maybe I’m evolving. Maybe I’m losing it.

Speaking of, the buzzing in my head has returned again and is growing louder, pulsing with every foot we traverse.

“I could barely handle her death, after what happened with my parents’ illness. Her memory was in Rochester. I wanted to stay gone, but I came back for the funeral, and I stayed because Torin needed me.”

I’m frozen in place, unable to come up with a response—witty or not. The headache grows, the tension in my chest sharp and cutting when he grabs me.

Do I feel bad for him? I think…I think I do. Is this guilt?

“You’re reckless, Dax,” Noble goes on in my silence. “Impulsive. You’re a danger to everyone around you. Including Ren. You think that makes you better than me? It doesn’t. It makes you weak.”

“I’m not weak,” I insist.

I’m broken.

There’s a part of me missing, a giant piece I’ll never get back. And in the space where history should be there is only pain and splintered flashes of whatever life I’ve lived.

His hand tightens on my shoulder. He wants to hit me. Rip me apart. I can see the idea shining in his gaze. But then, to my surprise, he lets go and steps back with a look of disgust.

“You’re pathetic,” he says, his voice cold. “Maybe that’s why Ren doesn’t take you seriously.”

The words hit harder than I’d like to admit, but I mask it with a smirk, no matter how it pulls at the edges. Not quitecovering everything I need it to. Hiding most of me but not nearly enough.

“And yet she’ll eagerly fall to her knees for me. Even though she’s apparentlyyourmate.”

“Fuck you,” he says before turning and stalking off.

I watch him go for a bit. If this had been months ago, he would have jumped me instantly. We would’ve fought until one of us was bleeding out or dead. But now, he’s walking away and I’m letting him?

Shit.

“Coward,” I mutter under my breath, more to myself than to him, before following.

I am a coward. He’s right. And Red’s right, too. Whatever these episodes are, they’re coming more and more frequently in her presence. I’m losing my grip.

Get it the hell together.

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