Her eyes sink their hooks into mine and keep them there, forcing us to miss the recap of the show now echoing through the speakers. I’d ignore the entire thing if it meant I could keep looking at her like this. Like the last thing I want to do is blink and lose this connection.
I’m falling right back into the feelings I had when I was a teenager, except now, they’re swelling and growing into the kind that would have terrified me back then.
Right person, wrong time . . .
I sound like mymother.
“What did he do to you, Avery?” I ask despite knowing the risks that come with the question.
The chance that she could shut down and lock up the fortress of her mind that I’ve gotten a peek inside of tonight.
She surprises me when she lets me continue looking. “Other than the constant belittling and lack of support, I’m sure he was a fine boyfriend. Unfortunately, I was too hurt by all of the bad to make light of any of the good. If it was ever there in the first place.”
I wet my lips and glide my palm up over her knee and to the bottom of her thigh, leaving it there. She keeps her hand on mine, but her fingers curl over it now, like she doesn’t want to accidentally let go.
“How long were you together before . . .”
“Six months. It was a broken condom that he never told me about that led to me missing my period and taking a test. Full transparency, I expected him to leave after I told him, but he surprised me by staying. He made this big deal out of it too, as if staying to father his own child was worthy of a damn Nobel Prize or something. My dad would never admit it, but I think he threatened him to make him stay. Sure, we were still getting to know each other when I got pregnant, but Chris was very clear that he didn’t want kids. He didn’t tell me about the broken condom because he was hoping it wouldn’t have mattered. I doubt he thought the one time would lead to a kid.”
My distaste for the guy turns into a hatred that sears me from the inside out. “Why didn’t you go back home? Your parents would have helped you, right?”
“They asked me the same thing. Both my mom and dad wanted me to go home and raise Nova in Sweden with them. But Chris wouldn’t come, and I understood his decision because I know firsthand how hard it is to move that far away from the place you were raised. I wanted Nova to grow up with a father figure,and he’s given her that.”
“And what has he given you, Avery? Other than your daughter.”
She diverts her eyes, staring at the TV as her hold on my hand grows tighter. The fog that slips over her gaze isn’t something I’d ever like to see again.
“Nothing worth mentioning,” she whispers.
“How long have you been alone, princess? How long has it been since you were someone’s priority?”
Her admission sears through me. “I don’t know.”
I want to scold her for not reaching out to me when she was struggling. For not coming to me for help when she was stuck picking up the scraps that Chris left behind for her, but I keep quiet. Blaming her for what she went through is a bad move that even someone as lacking in conversation skills as me can recognize.
“That’s over now. You have family here now. Mom, Aunt Ava, Addie. If you need anything, you ask for it, and they’ll give it without question,” I declare.
She turns her head slowly, and our eyes clash. “Are you included in that family? I don’t want to expect anything, but Nova likes you, and?—”
I slide my hand out from under hers and fight back a wince at the rejection that sparks in her stare. I’m quick to move again, desperate to help clear it all up for her.
Dropping my arm so it curls over her shoulder, I pull her close. She melts into me, not fighting the new position as I swirl my fingertips along her bare skin, drawing soothing circles.
“I’m not tucking myself into the same category as everyone else. I don’t want to only be called when you need help with Nova. Yeah, you let me know when you need me for that, but you deserve to be someone’s priority, and I’ve made you mine. That means you call me or bring yourself here to my front door anytime Avery the woman needs something, and not just Avery the mom. That clear?”
“I’m always Avery the mom, Oliver. Sometimes there isn’t adivide,” she murmurs, her legs stretching out before she goes limp against me.
“What about right now? Who have you been tonight?”
“Right now . . . right now, I’m just me.”
I brush my mouth over the top of her head, taking my fill of the moment. “Notjustyou. That word doesn’t belong in that statement. You’re you, Avery the woman.”
And I make a promise to myself that I’ll do everything I can to keep her here with me. Even if that means opening myself up in a way that should have me running in the opposite direction.
19
OLIVER