Page 96 of The Reluctant Wife

"Ryot," I whisper.

His hold on my hand tightens. Then, he moves one hand to my hip in a gesture that signals ownership.

"You take my breath away." He scans my features, that look in his eyes turning into something fierce. "You make me want to scoop you up and hide you away from the world so no one else can see you."

I smile.

"You make me want to declare to the world that you’re mine and that if any bastard dares to touch a hair on your head, I’ll make them wish they’d never been born."

"Oh, Ryot.” Those emotions, which seem to be so close to the surface whenever he is around, threaten to spill over.

"If I could wrap you up in cotton wool and protect you so no one could ever get to you, I would."

The pain in his voice sears through any remaining barriers I have left. I cup his cheek. "You make me feel confident and protected. If it weren’t for you, I’m not sure I’d have gotten this far. You rescued me from Gavin?—"

"—Don’t say that arsehole’s name."

"—and stood up for me against my own father. I didn’t realize how much I was putting myself down until you came into my life."

He rises to his feet and takes me in his arms. "You make me want to be a better man, Empress."

I cup his cheek. "You make me…feel much more than I thought I could."

He frowns. "Is that a bad thing?"

"It’s unexpected."

"Same." His lips quirk. "You make me want to kiss you, taste you, and draw in your scent until you’re in my veins and in my very cells. You make me hope. You make me…believe." A shadow crosses his features. "If I could give you my heart…"

I touch his lips. "I understand. Jane was a part of your life. No matter what went down between the two of you, you were married to her, and that will not change."

The furrow between his eyebrows deepens. "I never felt like this about her. This…deeply. This…soul-shatteringly vulnerable. I never felt like if something were to happen to her, I would die. It’s why, when her platoon was taken out, I felt so guilty. And finding out she was pregnant with someone else’s child, whenwe’d married only because I thought she was carrying my child, felt like a cruel joke. Much as I want to get over it, I don’t think I have. Much as the chemistry between the two of us is like nothing I've ever experienced before, and even though the connection I feel with you is searing?—"

"—there’s something stopping you from committing fully," I complete his statement.

I should feel deeply uncomfortable that my new husband is still not fully on board with us. That he’s never once said that he loves me. That he’s not over his past. That what happened to him with his previous marriage might have traumatized him so much that he’s unable to lean into the attachment he claims to feel with me. I should feel uneasy that I’m going into this marriage not knowing if I’ll have one in a few months. Or indeed, that within the year, we might no longer be married. But I know he's the one for me, enough to take this chance.

And a deeper part of me, the part which sees past his doubts and uncertainty, the part which is able to look beyond his words to the unsaid emotions I see in his eyes and writ into every angle of his body… That instinct feels confident that it’s only a matter of time before he acknowledges his feelings for me.

It’s there in his protectiveness, his possessiveness, and in the way he follows me with his gaze. He never lets me out of his sight when I’m with him. And when he isn’t with me, it’s because he’s doing his best to keep me safe. No one has ever been this concerned about me. No one else can be this attentive to me. No, he’s the one for me, and I'm confident he'll work it out for himself soon.

"I want you, Empress. I need you with every fiber of my being, but I fear I might be so badly burned from what happened that I’ll never able to love you the way you should be.”

My heart thuds into my ribcage. It’s the first time he’s used the L-word, even if it’s to say that he might not be able to loveme. The very fact that he’s thinking about it sends a rush of endorphins through my bloodstream.

"You need to work through everything you’ve been through. I understand,” I say softly.

His clenches his lips together so tightly the edges turn white. “I want you to be able to live your life on your terms. Unencumbered by your duty to your country and your father.” He drags his fingers through his hair, a look of consternation on his features. “I want you to fall in love and choose your own path. I just don’t know if I’m capable of giving you the love you deserve. I don’t want to hurt you, Empress.”

A warmth squeezes my chest. He cares for me. He’s half in love with me, and he’s not even aware. It’s only a matter of time before he comes to realize it too. It'd better be before our year together is up.

"You won’t." I place my hand over our joined palms. "Just by being yourself and by being with me, you make everything seem possible."

He takes both of my hands in his, brings them to his mouth, and kisses my fingertips. "I don’t deserve you. I’ll do everything possible to protect you. I promise you, I’ll track down whoever is after you and make sure they never bother you again."

"I believe you."

He moves my hands to one palm, and the other he wraps around my waist and brings me in. "You make me forget about everything else. You make me want to kiss you until you’re breathless."

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